Real Life Anecdotes About Friends

Next time, I'd better not invite my friends home when my 4 year old son is around. Recently, I had invited one of friends and he was astonished looking at my book shelf. He said, "Sridhar, you have a great collection of books". Even before I could respond to his appreciation, my son interrupted, "But he never reads any of those books".
Today is my birthday and I started my day with an embarrassment. One of the my friends called me in the morning to wish me happy birthday but I was in the toilet. So, my son picked the call. My son, "Hello", My friend, "Can I talk to Sridhar. I like to wish him", My son, "He is in the toilet.", My Friend, "When can I call him back?", My Son, "Call him after one hour because he usually takes really long time to come out of the toilet."
I have some friends who curse interestingly. This guy cursed me last evening "May all the hair on your head fall but one and let that one hair grow grey"
I wish I knew mind reading, especially to read my 3 year old son and his friends’s mind. Last evening, I was watching TV, someone poked me from behind; I turned around, and I saw my son and his other five friends sitting with absolutely no expression on their faces. I wish I knew mind reading.I yelled at 5 of my friends who called me while I was reading the book "how to make friends and keep them all through the life"I'd better not help my friends anymore. Today, I was inside the office elevator and one of my friend was approaching to get inside the lift. With an intention of keeping the elevator door open, I pressed the close-the-door button. The door closed even earlier than the usual time it was supposed to take.I'm going to return all the questions of my 4 year old son to himself when he grows up and see how he manages to answer these type of questions. Last evening, "Dad, will you buy me fish and chicken to eat because my friends suggested it is tasty and delicious?", I, "Son, we are vegetarians; fish and chicken are non-vegetarian food", He, "That's ok. buy vegetarian fish and vegetarian chicken"My friend wants to lose weight. He had a small apple in the morning. He was so proud about it and celebrated his achievement by having a massive three course heavy meal in the afternoon.One of my friend has this amazing skill of Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.The only girl who is always friendly with me is the one who guides me in the elevator. she is always kind enough to say "first floor", "third floor", "ground floor". And the best part is, my wife can't stop her by saying "stop talking to my husband"Yesterday, I curiously told a lengthy joke to my friend only to realize that he was the person who told me this joke a week ago. Thanks to my memory.A friend of mine has a peculiar memory power. He remembers everything about a person except their names. I met him last evening and he goes, 'hey...s...well, how is your new role at office suresh.? Sorry sandesh.? Sorry about that, i know that your name starts with 's' but....'