Dating Magazine

Put the Phone Down: What Not To Do When Dealing With a Broken Heart

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie

Put the Phone Down: What Not To Do When Dealing With a Broken HeartWe’ve all been there at some point in our lives. Our heart has been crushed, trampled on, ripped out, and shot with an AK-47 assault rifle. In reality, this is slightly exaggerated but sometimes heartbreak does feel like someone has literally ripped your heart out to the point of no repair. Heartbroken and broken heart is two keywords that seems to draw a great amount of traffic to my blog. So today, I want to address some actions you should steer clear of as you work on mending your love organ.

Although you’re hurting there are 5 actions you shouldn’t consider when you’re dealing with a broken heart.

Pouring Your Heart Out

Plain and simple! Whoever broke your heart just leave them the hell alone. Don’t call and pour your heart out every day, don’t text heartfelt messages about how much you love and miss them, and don’t e-mail or text pictures of happier times with some crazy ass caption that says “remember this, we were so happy then”. This will get you nowhere! The other person is out doing whatever the hell they want while you’re sending these pictures. The bad part about it is, if you really got someone who doesn’t give a damn about you any more, they’re laughing at you right now. Trust me; I’ve seen it happen many times. You get one phone call to curse him or her out and that’s it. It is beneficial to get whatever you need to say off your chest. Once you’ve had your say do not call back and apologize because then you just look crazy!

Stalker Alert

Although dealing with a broken heart is quite an ordeal, stalking someone until it becomes downright scary is not healthy, nor will it get your partner back. If anything, it will scare the hell out of them and you’ll end up with a restraining order against you. So ditch the waiting in the car to see what time they decide to come home. Do not follow this person or mysteriously pop up at the same places at the same time. There’s a difference between dealing with a broken heart and dealing with a complete mental breakdown.

Using the Internet as a Resource to Get Them Back

The internet is the worst place to look for information because it is plagued by people who want to make a dime off your broken heart. Hundreds of e-books are available online that that supposedly gives you tips and tricks on how to get your ex back. Here’s the bottom line, you can’t get anyone back who does not want to be with you! I don’t care what tips, trickery, magic potion, or fairy dust that you attempt to use; you can’t make someone be with you. A majority of these e-books gives you a trick called No Contact. No contact is pretty much self explanatory but it’s used for your own heart healing benefit and not for getting an ex to come back. These e-books give you a false sense of hope and honestly if your ex is full of shit…. why would anyone want shit back?

Join the Broken Hearts Club

When I was dealing with my own broken heart, I was very thankful that I had a group of positive people surrounding me. They uplifted me, assured me I could do better, and maintained a positive attitude about relationships and people. The one thing you want to steer clear of is people who are also dealing with a broken heart or people who have become bitter as a result of a broken heart. Misery loves company and although your heart is broken at the moment, the main focus should be healing, growth, and moving forward with a positive outlook. Do not allow others to prescribe you a bitter pill!

Become a Friend with Benefits

Once you’ve been in a committed relationship with someone, it is often very hard to switch gears from being in a relationship to just sex. This is especially hard if the break up is recent. There are people who will break up with others and then attempt to have sex after the break up. After the sex is over things go back to the broken up stage leaving you heartbroken all over again. This is basically pouring salt on an open wound because you’re thinking that it means something but to them it’s just sex.

A broken heart mends over time. In most cases, the emotion the leads us to these actions is fear. We get use to being with someone and we try to use the above as a way to get them back and get back to the comfort zone we once had. You’ll find that as your heart begins to mend your mind will begin to get a clearer picture of the situation. And it often leads to the conclusion that you are better off without them. So put the phone down!

Which of these actions are you guilty of and did it get you anywhere?

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posted on 26 November at 19:02

This is brilliant! Great advice! A friend of mine said “Listen, we all date assholes till we meet the right one.” At the time I thought it was a harsh statement, but he’s right. Not that the people I date are assholes; because who we choose to date is a reflection of who we are and what we think we want. While dating, we are really testing out the combination of qualities, characteristics, and life desires we are looking for. We discover the things that we thought we wanted might not be what we need.