Dating Magazine

Preheat The Commitment Oven Ding!

By Kelly Speechless @KellySpeechless

What Makes A Guy, "Ready", To Commit?

What does, "I'm not ready", really mean?
Ok I am so sorry to disappoint everyone, but when someone says, "they are not ready," for a relationship or commitment it is a lie. In life, no one is ready for anything. You were probably not ready to hear, "I'm not ready", from the person you heard it from. There is no dock to stand on and wait for the SS. IM READY ship to sail in. Even IF the", I am not ready," excuse was a valid reason, why have not you ever said it to a person? If you just answered in your mind, "Well actually, I have said I wasn't ready to a guy before", he does not count. YOU DID NOT LIKE HIM.
I Am Busy With Work, Family, Legal, and OTHER Issues.

When someone tells you that they are not ready to commit, they usually say something as to why. Anyone who claims commitment is not something they can handle due to normal life stresses, then they are simply: Full of Shit.
Everyone is busy and people who are too busy to date one person shouldnt be dating one or more to figure that out. So the whole, "I can't commit because I am normal and have a stressful life, job, family, life suprises that need my attention, etc. should be considered laughable and frankly, "off topic validation at best. When things in your life are exceptionally busy and too stressful we don't neglect people who could make that time better. To add: If this person does not have anytime, why is he dating at all?
When someone uses, "life," as an excuse for the reason they cannot verbally commit when your already playing the part anyway is crazy. Aren't we all busy? Don't we all have issues? And what if the two you get together and some extra issues pop up? What then? We are humans who need to be treated with respect. If things in your life got dreadfully overloaded to the point that evaluating some negative baggage could make life easier that is understandable. During the process of getting rid of unneeded toxicity in your busy life you would not choose to get rid of sources of love and/or positivity.   No one takes there dog or cat back to the pond or pet store, when things get tough! They buy off brand and stop loaning uncle Ted money for cigarettes. 

I Am Scared Because My Past Relationships Have Scarred Me.
Get some Mental Mederma or Some Professional Help and Not Hurt Us In the Process.
Of course, having a horrible history in terms of relationships is awful. No matter how severe or minimal the details of failed relationships are we all recover, heal and move on in our own way. That being said; if a person is aware that he or she may be living with a past that is too strong to conquer in order  cognitively function romantically then-they shouldn't date!
Example: Mary has been dating Sam for three months. Mary wants to date Sam and on one else at the moment and would like Sam to do the same. When Mary asks Sam if he would be cool with only dating her he claims that a past bad breakup has made it impossible to do so. Mary should say, "Thanks alot asshole! I have fallen for you and now this is going to be harder! What are you doing to fix this past because if it has such a huge hold on you than you must be seeking help!"
If certain issues are present enough to always be apart of you, and haunt you than you need to get some help. It is not fair to bring your crazy to someone innocent. It is also not fair to make someone else crazy why you test your mind on them to see if you can handle normalcy. You can’t use harmless potential daters as guinea pigs to test if the past will come up or not.
If you have issues and problems due to the past, proactively execute ways to try and fix it. When you feel you are ready to not let the past choose what you want in your life then you can date. By the way all you women out their need to remember that when a person is lying to you about having an issue with trust you can't prove yourself as trustworthy to fix things because the problem is not his lack of trust. When people are deeply troubled from the past that has nothing to do with you! Also, according to the doctrine of psychiatry (every source there is) even professionals are instructed to never treat patients they are married to or have had any emotional attachment to! That is most likely implemented for a reason.
Let’s Be Real for A Second: If you date a person who later informs you commitment is off the table due to his or her past, he or she is most likely LYING! This person either wants to keep you around but not commit, wants to play a game, or is a coward.

Has This Ever Happened To You.
I want to you to try this experiment: OK close your eyes and go back to how the beginning of a relationship feels. The songs that sound better on the radio, getting ready knowing he will be there tonight, the first few times he had his arm around you, the smell of cologne on his shirt, the kissing, the first few times he touches your face and you get nervous, that safe feeling …OK you get it.
Now picture looking this guy in the face, and saying, “Look I really want to be with you but I cant because I am just not ready.”

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