Posted by Sophie Westrope on June 9, 2013 · Leave a Comment
I USED to imagine what my life would be like in my twenties — American shows like Friends and Sex and the City (I know, I’m a walking cliché, right?) gave me unrealistic expectations about how I’d live out these years. And while admittedly I’m only five minutes into being a twenty-something, there’s been no sign of a Mr Big or a fancy Manhattan apartment and nobody’s run into my local coffee shop in a wedding gown begging to stay with me after she jilted her man at the altar.
Post-university life has left me feeling rather glum and I’m currently in the pit of a slump in my life that I can’t seem to climb my way out of. ‘What’s next?’ they ask, and still I have no answers. And being at home, despite its several perks sends me falling back into my self-conscious, neurotic teenage state of mind – I’m resorting back to behaving like the little nerdy girl with zero confidence and an inferiority complex, always feeling on the outside, just watching as people live their lives. I’m probably just having a moment of self pity that’ll no doubt pass after a good night’s sleep; I can’t deny a feeling of emptiness – of wanting more.
It seems we all live our lives waiting for something; waiting for that promotion, for Mr/Mrs Right to come along; or for the ‘right time’ to act upon something, which usually consequentially results in missing out or letting something pass you by. If we could, if I could learn to be more impulsive and adventurous then perhaps I wouldn’t be sitting on my parents’ couch on a Sunday night wishing I had somewhere to be. If life weren’t so fucking complicated, excuse my French, then maybe we’d all stop being such wimps worrying about the outcome of a decision before we’ve even made it.
Perhaps what is next for me isn’t definite and maybe it won’t be for a long time but I will try to make it one thing: exciting. After all, I love to tell a good story so I need to start creating them. I hereby promise to live more. And while my hometown might not have much to offer in the way of story-making, it’s certainly a good place to start looking for more. Say it with me now: I will stop being a bloody loser and make things happen. With repeat prescription until no longer necessary.
