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Pop Star We’ve Never Heard Of Says He Wants Hilary Duff Back

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

The Huffington Post reports that early 2000s pop star, Aaron Carter, “desperately” wants Hilary Duff back. They broke up about ten years ago.

Carter recently Tweeted:

“Don’t be that stupid douche that loses the love of your life forever.. Like me…”

3 Questions That Arise From This Story

1. Is this an endorsement of smart douches? Unless you want the wrong people to join your 422,000 Twitter followers, you may want to clarify.

2. Do you think that suggesting people not be like you is a selling point to win 2014 Hilary Duff back? If so, we question whether you are good at selling stuff.

3. Speaking of selling stuff, since we just saw that you reportedly filed for bankruptcy in November 2013, does this mean you are better at buying stuff than selling stuff? Might we suggest that you buy a Golden Retriever and one of those informercial keychains that beeps when you whistle, because it seems you may need assistance, as you are prone to losing things like money and Hilary Duff for time periods as long as forever.

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