Current Magazine

Police Line: Do Not Cross. And Do Not Throw Out In Oakland.

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Fox News reports that in a budgetary crisis, police in Oakland have been told to recycle police crime scene tape to use at other crime scenes.

3 Other Ways We Suggest Police Could Recycle Crime Scene Tape

1. To help an informant wear a wire. Good news: may not still be sticky enough to stick to chest hair. Bad news: may curl up into a ball and be easier to detect during pat down by prospective drug lord, who is wondering why you are wearing a wire in 2014 instead of using a voice recording iPhone app.*

2. Band-aid for minor paper cuts while working a police desk job. If there’s one thing we’ve learned from watching buddy cop comedy movies is that working a desk job is a total burn in Hollywood. Imagine the added embarrassment of wearing bright yellow tape to cover a paper cut. Sounds like we have a gag for Chris Tucker’s next movie!

3. For ribbon-cutting ceremonies at future buildings like prisons, where crime scenes are likely to occur. You won’t even have to move that ribbon, as you just simply tape it back together with other crime scene tape.

*he obviously is unaware of the police budgetary problems!


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

Paperblog Hot Topics

Magazines