Pilgrim - an Idea for an Animation.

PILGRIM
1. EXT. GROUNDS OF MANOR HOUSE, DAY
We are outside the rambling, fresh green-grassed hills of an aged English country pile, its blackened pointy roof covered in the clothed, skeletal, grey, ashen-skinned corpses of VICTORIAN CHIMNEY SWEEPS, dressed like long-deceased extras from "OLIVER!". The lawn is overgrown with think jungle grass. We see the heads of GARDEN GNOMES peeking up, the paint on their faces and hats gradually eroded and flaked away. The lawn's left side is lined with two-wheeled caravans that work like see-saws, falling down and rising up, causing the same to happen to the caravans that line up, and then the caravans that line the other caravans, creating a strange quasi-domino effect. Its right side is lined with identical bland red telephone boxes. The first phone box rings, then stops, and then the phone box beside it rings and then when that stops, the phone box beside that rings, and then when that stops, the phone box beside that rings, and then stops, and then the next box does its turn. By the yellow-bricked road entrance, we see a GOLF BUGGY crashing at the gate, on which several pigeons are impaled on its fork-pronged top. Out of the BUGGY, we see a figure in a large VICTORIAN DIVING SUIT. The figure takes off the helmet to reveal a small, wiry male, PILGRIM, black hair, bony, tall, if he was in a certain proportion, neither a man or a boy, but in a sort of puberty limbo. He is dressed in massively oversized dungarees. He goes up to the door of the HOUSE, which is a huge black door that dwarfs the boy, PILGRIM. He tries to reach the ornate gold door-knocker carved into the face of a smiling APE-WITCH, but he is too small. He climbs onto the top of the GOLF BUGGY, but he is still too low. He jumps, stretches one hand out, his hand hitting the gold door-knocker but fails to grab onto it. He walks down, goes down to the entrance, takes a brick, brings it up to the GOLF BUGGY roof, then he goes back, takes another brick, puts it on the GOLF BUGGY  roof, goes back, takes a brick, put it on the roof, goes back, takes a brick, puts it on the roof, the same routine, until he has built a staircase up to the gold door-knocker. Once he bangs it, the GOLF BUGGY falls back, he slips, the entire yellow brick staircase falls down and breaks the BUGGY. The door opens to reveal a large SILVER-BACK GORILLA dressed in a pink and white FRENCH MAID OUTFIT, the sort worn by TRANSVESTITES, a miniature train set going around, steaming in the center of her maid's hat, little puffs of steam rising above her head. The GORILLA MAID grabs PILGRIM and takes him in.
2. INT. LOBBY OF MANOR HOUSE, DAY
We see the grand LOBBY, its walls lined with windows looking out into either night sky or the morning sun or doors, some with windows themselves, others with cat flaps or both. The ceiling is tarmacked, while the floor is painted with the image of a cloudy sky. We see that the LOBBY is almost like a BALLROOM, filled with four GOLDEN-SKINNED CHINESE COWBOYS in white leather cowboy outfits and fourteen-gallon hats, riding on the backs of mechanical clockwork RODEO BULLS with rat-a-tat-a-tat forever-firing GATLING GUNS as tails. The LOBBY TABLE is a large Victorian clipper ship in a bottle (we see little people inside it, running around in VICTORIAN COSTUME, falling off, climbing up, manning the mast and so on) mounted on upside-down flaming candelabra suspended on flame, that don't seem to cause a fire or scorch the sky-paint on the floor. Manning the LOBBY TABLE is a tall moustachioed MAN IN BLACK GUN-SLINGER, modelled on LEE VAN CLEEF. He fires a gun north, directing PILGRIM to a large green door, with a circle drawn around it to show us where he is going. PILGRIM nods, and as he walks towards the DOOR, a brass band made up of KNIGHTS TEMPLAR, bandoleers of bullets anachronistically placed over their chain-mail play "GREEN DOOR" by SHAKIN' STEVENS.  PILGRIM opens the GREEN DOOR.
3. INT. JUNGLE OF LAMPSHADES, DAY
We see that PILGRIM is now in a thick, vine-encrusted AMAZONIAN JUNGLE,where every tree branch is topped with a LIVING FANGED ORANGE LAMPSHADE. PILGRIM swings on a vine TARZAN-STYLE, dodging by the LAMPSHADES and an odd, speedy, lanky bony GREAT WHITE HUNTER in cream safari suit and pith helmet who has a BROWN COW that has a GATLING GUN-type tail that fires custard pies. PILGRIM slips, and ends up wearing two pies as shoes, slipping and sliding, while still hanging on the vine, though now almost water-skiing down a lake, holding onto the vine rather than swinging. He doges a large ALLIGATOR, its back spiked with long dangerous nails. He is chased NORTH BY NORTHWEST-style in a crop-duster plane by the GREAT WHITE HUNTER. PILGRIM wraps the vine around the plane's wing, as the HUNTER glides down. THE PLANE is pulled into the mouth of the hungry ALLIGATOR, its jaw crammed with more teeth than the ENTIRE OSMOND FAMILY. PILGRIM finally lands on a GLASS BOTTOM BOAT made entirely of half-full milk bottles, with loud speakers crowning the top, in a strange semi-roof that constantly play the noise of bagpipes to keep the ship afloat. Suddenly, two giant wooden hands on metal arms rise down and pick up the helpless PILGRIM.
LAP-DISSOLVE - We now see on the GLASS-BOTTOM BOAT, a hamster-wheel with PILGRIM running inside, powering the BOAT, which is now powered like a paddle steamer. It is gliding past AZTEC PYRAMIDS made out of wide, squat tins of tuna, knights in armor mounted on giant toy dogs on wheels jousting with multi-coloured feather-dusters, giant flat tapeworms trying to scare a worm out of a giant apple, a RED-COATED ENGLISH DUKE made out of intricately carved soap and a SINGING CABBAGE eating a hay-covered COUNTRY BUMPKIN, the BUMPKIN roasting on a rotating spit like a kebab-pig, a TELEPHONE POLE  crammed into his mouth. PILGRIM then sees a gold TREASURE CHEST, jumps onto it, finds it has legs and rides it like a horse, jumps onto a conveniently placed tatty old purple rag of a magic carpet and flies into the sky.
4. LOBBY OF MANOR HOUSE
Somehow, despite going up, PILGRIM and the CARPET-BOUND TREASURE CHEST (who is burping gold fly under the LOBBY, across the SKY FLOOR, waving everyone goodbye. The words "THE END" suddenly form out of the clouds.