Pigs Wisely Packing On Weight To Avoid Becoming Ham

Bloomberg reports that American pigs are “too fat for holiday ham.”

3 More Things Pigs Are Unqualified For

1.  Maid at local Holiday Inn

2. Librarian (They are noisy and certainly can’t say “Shhhhh.”)

3. Person who says “Quiet Please” at U.S. Open (for same reasons as above.)