I just wanted to give an update after such a long break.
Last I posted we had been expecting. Unfortunatly we had some problems, first my placenta detached so I was on bed rest for over too weeks. Then I was at specialist office for ultrasound at 12 weeks but we were told that baby's umbilical cord had a large lump which indicated a serious issue. Then on my scheduled appointment for amino to determine what exactly was happening. We were at 15 weeks and were told during ultrasound we were told that my baby girl no longer had a heartbeat. So, needless to say we were devastated. I had been dreaming and praying for a girl and now we had lost our baby.Unfortunatly this was not our first time dealing with a birth defect. 17 years ago we lost our son Alexander at 31 weeks so we were very shocked that we were yet again loosing a baby. We have been lucky that we have two beautiful healthy boys but that joy doesn' take away from loosing another baby.
The real nightmare for me started last Tues morning when I needed to check into hospital cuz anyone who has lost a baby later in pregnancy knows that mom needs to be induced to deliver. They started the induction at 9:30 am and I labored for 26 hours. I delivered my Zoey at 6:20 am Wednesday morning. She was 14cm long and 1.2 ounces. For extra added fun my placenta would not come out after four hours so DR was trying to pull it out while I was creaming due to pain. They had me on medication but it wasn't working for that. Other finally did a D&C when I was bleeding clots the size of my fist for the three hours after giving birth. My blood pressure was dangerously low and they had two pints of blood ready for me cuz I was loosing too much blood. I pulled through very well after my surgery so they watched me and my pressure to ee if it was stabilizing and it had so I stayed for a few more hours to ensure no other complications and was released with my memory box for Zoey.
So it's been a week and I still cry on and off during the day. I have started smoking after four years of quitting. I have been trying to occupy my mnd with nails, or anything but nothing is working. I really need to do something so I am turning to my nails to give me a plan or destination to not think about the emptiness I feel. I am scared to see anyone cuz I can't talk about it without bawling.
I am trying to adjust and move on by keeping busy so I am hoping to start posting again. I just wanted to explain why I was gone for so long and if my pics aren't really great I am just getting back into my nails but wanted to explain. I will be posting Thurs with my first mani in a few weeks.
Thank you for those who stayed and I appreciate it.
Nicky
