Life Coach Magazine

People Skills: Grudge Holding

By Shawnaschuh

People Skills: Grudge HoldingLately I’ve been sharing a story about my female horse Sesame. How when I first began riding her regularly she would get very moody (that’s putting it lightly) and would attempt to bite me when I cinched up her saddle.

She is not a horse that does things half way and her attempts to bite me were ferocious – ears flat back against her skull, mouth open and teeth bared – a frightening sight as her large head reached around to take a piece of my arm.

I kept out of her way however I was unsettled and upset and didn’t understand why she was acting that way or treating me so poorly, especially after the treats I fed her and how well I brushed her out.

When I got on to ride, her poor behavior stayed with me and I rode with some fear – if she hated me enough to strike out to bite then what else might she do to me?

Needless to say my riding experiences where full of emotion, fear and foreboding.

Then one day my husband asked me what was wrong – when I explained how Sesame tried to bite me every time I cinched her and how I didn’t understand why she hated me and what I was doing wrong he said something startling, “She doesn’t remember”.

“What?” –

“She acts that way because she doesn’t like to be cinched, it doesn’t have anything to do with you and she doesn’t hold a grudge.” He told me.


So like all things it seems – it’s me. Me holding emotions I don’t need – me putting too much energy around a fairly small incident – the good news is – me I can alter – me I can improve – now it’s a matter of doing it.

What if we didn’t take things personally – didn’t let other people’s moods affect us adversely – didn’t hold a grudge.

Easy concept to grasp – not so easy to practice – and I’m finding it multi layered –

The call to action for me today – and maybe for you also is to check in for yourself – are you holding emotions that are better let go? Are you remembering past hurts or incidents that you can release?

Most of us are – and it’s up to us to clear it out, give them away and move on to the joy of the ride.

Remember – you create your day by the way you think! Make it magnificent!

Blessings, Shawna

Here’s a site that features my mare and other critters – enjoy!

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