Party Mad Monday's? What in the heck are Party Mad Monday's about?First of all, I'm mad. But, my intentions are good... and honorable. I'll explain everything about what I'm (excuse my "French") pissed off about. Keep reading.
I've been thinking about writing a weekly post on a particular subject for a while now, just like some of my SITS Girls blogger friends, however, until recently I didn't feel a strong enough urge or have the gumption to do it.
Quite honestly, I was playing it safe (what in the heck is that... "safe", anyway?). And, believe it or not, I didn't feel completely free enough to speak about one of the things about parties that interests me the most; consumers getting a good deal. But, I've rethought it and now feel no constraints. So, just the other day I began.
So from here on out, or until Jesus comes back, or the creek rises, or until I see effective change... Monday's on Cater-Hater will be the day for Party Mad Monday posts.
What's that saying, "Putting the cart before the horse", right? Well, that's what I did. During the Holiday Season of Party Savings You're 'The Weakest Link' came first; before this post. Read it. Because it's good. Real good. But, oops! I got ahead of myself. That's what can happen when you're passionate about something. And me... moving too fast; I have to slow all the thoughts down that are swirling around in my head. Well, that's what I needed to do anyway.
Okay. But here's the thing... when it comes to this topic... and how I feel about it; what motivates me to write Party Mad Monday is... well, grab your coffee or cocktail (it's five o'clock somewhere), and settle in. Ready?
A bit about what motivates me and why I am the kind of person to "go there" about this topic: From the word "go", I am a true party geek with clearly, compared to your average party business owner professional, kind of unusual party geek interests. Needless to say (but I'm going to say it anyway), being this kind of "party geek" is rare and with a certain faction, isn't a popular business lifestyle choice, but deep down inside I have a pretty strong sense of self. At this stage of the game I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself, so I'm no longer concerned with what other people think of me. I make choices and live my life with little regret.
Back in the day... before I started my business, I began as a busser in the catering industry at "catering minimum wage" ($10.00 an hour) and eventually figured out that this wasn't for me. Back then, and to a large extent maybe even now, when you worked in the Los Angeles catering industry, if you didn't have connections, this is pretty much where you began. I "grew up" in the business to become an all-around, seasoned party pro. Catering and planning parties for me was (and still is) a pleasure and not at all like "work". More than anything I wanted and got to have: the experience, and a catering adventure, catering for some of the finest LA-based catering companies that exist. I figured to do a standard job wouldn't do. Working for the busiest caterer in town, I learned most of what I know "on the fly". We were catering so many events, no one had time to hold your hand and teach you anything. But I worked. I'm ambitious. I did what they asked and was the one always asking what they wanted me to do next.
Cover of Barbra Streisand
In what seemed like no time at all, I made the "A-Team" (the staff offered to work everything), saw the über-rich party world up close and personal, meeting and/or working for people like Barbara Streisand, John F. Kennedy Jr., Brad Pitt, Henry Winkler, Michael Jackson, Halle Berry, Jack Nicholson, and Denzel Washington, you know, the Hollywood usual - very rarely working for "average income" people. That probably had a lot to do with why it wasn't like a "job". For me, it was an experience in every sense of the word.
Nelson Mandela
These were the post-Ronald Reagan presidency days, where I was told, after being in complete and utter awe -- working such elaborate, over-the-top, expensive events, "Carlo, this is nothing. You would have really freaked out if you had seen the parties we used to produce." Say what you want about President Reagan; whatever the deal was, apparently they spent even bigger before I came on board. I haven't talked a lot about my LA catering experiences. So, when I'm reminded of something, I'll tell you about some of my them, and there were plenty. But, today I'll just say what I experienced was incredible and I mean incredulously incredible. It was everything I could have wished for, although I hadn't (I just kinda wound up there) - and then some. I saw everybody (rich and famous) and met some pretty doggone incredible people, people that I admire and respect to this very day. But hey... I was so busy being "in the parade", not being on the sidelines, watching, I didn't think a lot about who our clients were... except the time I was VIP assistant to Nelson Mandela. Now that was something! I live in the moment, so it was after it was over when I it hit me and really sank in - Girl, that was Nelson Mandela!, and that this was what I wanted to do with my life.Eventually, I left the LA and that part of my catering life. Being an "in the moment" type of person, even though I moved on, a lot had happened so I needed time allow all of the experiences I'd had to sink in. One of the first things I realized was that I knew a helluva lot more about this catering stuff than I thought I did. Although, having had pretty low self-esteem, I didn't think much about anything I did. People who would try to compliment me throughout the years weren't allowed by my mother to have "oo" and "ah" over anything I did when I was coming up. And with that being the case, I grew accustomed to ignoring my triumphs and successes. But eventually, I realized what I'd lived was truly special, and that most of what I'd witnessed and experienced were things that most people only dream about. After moving on and working with "everyday people" like me, of course I also realized that über-wealthy people are a strange breed, to an extent. Unlike average people - they don't eat at parties, yet they ask mega-questions about the food (wanting to know, "What's in that?"; talking about it is apparently their form of "eating"; verbal culinary digestion, I guess), they drink sparkling water by the gallon (bubbly water makes you feel fuller, faster), they're perpetually "on" when in public, and emphatically will tell you they're more like you than like "them" (while being quite "class" conscious; you'll never get invited to any of their functions). If you're not familiar with rich people firsthand, think of them as undercover elitists - while they are expected to be either complete jerks or the absolute, unquestionably nicest people on the earth, and giving as "all get out" too. I love them because they're people just like everyone else. But what catapulted me into being "allowed" (yes, because that was the case) to have such close contact with them was because I'm not a "hater" and I understand them. They're the way they are because of their life experiences, just like we are, and many of them think the way that they think because of what they've DONE. They expect to be the best and have the best, always. They don't like to fly by the seat of their pants, and more than anything they expect to accomplish their mission - irregardless of anything. They love to lead and they usually graciously command enormous respect. They won't do dirty jobs, the ones that nobody else should do - and think you should be happy to do, especially when it's around or for them. It's the, "I'm paying you.. what's the problem?", kind of mentality. So, because I understand them, being the "Caterer to the Stars" VIP person was the perfect job for me, in fact, I almost should have paid for the privilege of it because it certainly did have it's perks. When I was employed there I became known as the one who played that position (which could have been kind of a curse, but because my position was sanctioned by the owner, everyone was cool about it). Many things I overheard while working with high net-worth people will remain "classified", so don't expect me to talk about it here. I'm loyal (to a fault) and have sense enough to know what to speak about and what not to speak about without being told.
I served my former employer well, as she did me, and all went well. Working with the wealthy 1% earners of Hollywood made me see things about catering to people like us (assuming that most of you who read this are one of "us", that is) that I probably wouldn't have thought of, had I not had VIP service experiences, working for the people who define the United States culture -- that seeps over into much of the world; many of which I have enormous respect for, who are amazingly talented and creative people. You have to remember something if you disagree with me about any of this. I went to LA as a SAG/AFTRA member - so I probably see Hollywood and having "talent" from a different perspective than you might. Many of them are true artists that were actually shocked when they "made it", so they're the kind of people who would do what they do... not for glory, or money, or the fame - although to some of them those things are important. No, they do it because it's a part of them, it consumes them to the point -- it's who they are, and because they have conscientiously chosen to honor what's inside of them that drives them, artistically. They do it because they "feel it". They do it because they feel they have to. And as professionals, there can be no higher self-actualized calling.
What a pain. No matter how much you can love doing something, eventually the time comes when you have stop and to look at it. I mean, really look at it.
What I saw, when I woke up from the glitz and the glamor was what fueled me to think about writing Party Mad Monday's. For years I worked with rich folks, not thinking about people like you and me; people who don't normally hire professional caterers and party planners. When I did think about it I realized that most of us are so busy trying to make ends meet that it wouldn't (and doesn't) ever cross our minds to even complain about not being able to afford what is honestly a "want" not a "need"; a birthday, wedding, or anniversary celebration. But rich folks don't think like that. Because of course, don't have to.
Our thoughts, plans, budgets, and ideas don't support going to a party planner or catering company in the first place - so that we don't have to think about and do the schlepping and whatnot for our parties, ourselves, like the rich do. We go to Party City and call it a day. We don't expect to have someone else clean up after us like wealthy people do.
When I grew up things were much better economically, so of course they were more stable than they are right now. Even though I grew up in an upscale town, my parents never hired professional service people to do anything. You'd think that they would have gotten tired of mowing the lawn and doing some of the other things, because it seems to me that when you can afford it, you'd "splurge" sometimes -- at least once. But, I guess after a while people just accept things in life being the way they are. And to think, they didn't even have a Party City to go when I was growing up! If I hadn't been right there with them living it, that would seem unimaginable.
Unless you're "party crazy" like I am and love every aspect of creating a party -- from start to finish, think about this the next time you head out to pick up a couple things at Party City: If you could afford to pay someone to do all of the work that it takes to create a decent party for you, wouldn't you? Don't you just get plain tired of doing everything yourself all of the time? I know I do. Well, except parties. It's hard enough doing all of the day-to-day things we have to do, without adding party planning or wedding planning to the list.
And so, after all of these years of catering I decided to stand with you guys; with us. Intentionally, I'm writing more about parties these days and not planning and catering events as often as I did before. I helped a lot of rich people throughout the years and now intend to help you, someone who looks more like me, a working class person who doesn't have a lot of money to entertain. Writing and sharing information with you about parties, so far, has been working out. I live in big 'ol Texas, where most of the time it's too hot, so being indoors and writing beats all that physical party catering stuff all to hell anyway. I have information to share that I think that you can use and don't mind sharing it. Although not all of my blog posts reflect it, I specialize in large (1000+ guests) parties for the affluent (of course), yet through the years I have created special events of all sizes, for all kinds of people. I write for people who are planning something affordable, and we know catering to a lot of people isn't what you would call "affordable". I cook (but not all the time). But I have to admit, I really, really love planning parties.
I'm pretty "hands on" and still do a little bit of everything when I produce parties and a few weddings. But I think, eventually, I'll become a writer full time. Writing this blog is my first step in that direction. And unless you ask me about something in particular, I pretty much write about whatever I'm interested in at the time.
So expect Cater-Hater to include: Party Mad Monday's where I'll talk about things that tick me off; namely Piss-Poor Party Prices, Business Politics (and I might periodically skim the topic of politic-politics every now and then too), Unintelligent Party Design Concepts, and Dumb People/Party Business Owners (who complain about me siding with you), which will of course include Things That Irritate The Crap Out Of Me (possibly a TV commercial, talk show, or radio program or something - and how it relates to parties, of course), and stupid pompous arrogance party people stupidity [Hey Carlo... why don't you tell me how you really feel? LOL!], etc), party things/party tools (supplies; gadgets, tableware, rental items, tents and the like), writing, cooking, humor, etc), and Things I Intend To Accomplish Before I Die (like Rule the World, etc). Hope you're down with it.
I'm on your side.
*****
I do this... I write to help to create to opportunities for all of you to pursue your passion to have parties without regard to economic constraints.
I think if we keep talking about the cost of parties (I blog, you write comments), together, maybe we can break down some of the party industry price barriers and shame some of the people who've taken your money and delivered a poor quality product right into growing a conscious and treating you right (nice thought, isn't it?).
Opportunities to be inspired about parties are everywhere. Yet, people looking out for your wallet are few and far between. My goal is to inspire you, causing you to question the way things are that have been the status quo for too long. When we stand together and speak up, we can be a powerful force.
Let's keep the conversation of change going. Because in the sea of everyone talking, one voice is a whisper... several voices are a scream.
Leave a comment and share your thoughts, ideas and suggestions below. Remember to be as specific as possible because what you have to say helps us all.
Always... be encouraged and be encouraging to others too,
“Full circle the pain I cause, comes the lessons I value to replace my flaws” - Jacob Halfpop
Image source: Barbra Streisand, Google Images, Wikipedia
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