It's another Party Mad Monday post, people. So all of you party business owners who aren't consumer-focused, who aren't giving up the answers to the hardest questions... we're back and we're coming after you again.
I started Cater-Hater with no plans to place party business owners on blast.
At first, I didn't begin "blasting" them because, like a lot of new writers, I wasn't sure of my voice. One thing I did know was that I didn't want to sound like everyone else. But for a minute, I'm pretty sure I did. And that's okay... I'm not beating myself about whether or not I followed and was a part of the "status quo". I mean, it just is what it is - as they say. It's water over the bridge.
I thought I'd wait until the time felt right to post my own view points. I wanted the conversation to be about what you guys, the readers, and what you wanted; how-to information, recipes, etc. It was kind of scary. The thought that you write something and put it out there, and wonder in the back of your mind, Did I go too far? Is anyone really paying any attention? But at the end of the day, I find it interesting that both sides of the spectrum, for and against better and lower party prices, exist or shall I say, coexist, with each side acting as if the other one isn't there.
But, it is exactly that, two sides of the spectrum pretending that other isn't there, which confirms for me, something I've suspected for some time now... we will never agree with them. Period. Fini. That's it.
I could say, I'd like to purpose a change. Instead I say, just plain... change. However first, I think it'd be only fair and right that I state my opinion on the subject of party hiring practices, which is this: I sincerely really do care. Really, I do. Otherwise, I doubt I'd be writing this. When (or if) I'm ever forced to take a stand on the subject, I fall smack-dab in the middle of "consumer". Unpopular, on your side, outlaw-ish, and very, very to the point about it, that's me.
Now... people, especially status quo people, think there's something wrong with you when you take a stand, or choose a side. They get all bent out of shape if you have an "I really do give-a-care" attitude. Party hiring practices (and the prices of things that are party-related, too), namely the problem with jacked up party hiring practices that offer no answers to the most important questions, is a subject you're supposed to have conversations with people about; who agree with you - if you think hiring professionals and the prices of parties/party-related items isn't a problem. Or... this is a subject that isn't supposed to warrant any kind of discussion at all. You know the kind; that constitute a vibe that basically says, "What problem?" You're either pro-party prices or anti-party prices. You're either for us or against us (us being "cater haters" who produce their own parties, to save money). And hey... even if you don't care about the prices of parties and party supplies and aren't concerned with hiring the best guy out there to get the job done, because you have no intention to hire a party pro -- with the downturn of global economies world wide, everyone has an opinion about prices and what things cost in general, if not party prices, per se.
Consumer prices (or party prices, in this instance) are a polarizing issue and just as sure as the day is long, there are two choices you can make: be for the current prices - believing things don't need to change OR be against them - wondering why things haven't changed.
Truthfully, the only thing that can even this out or actually bring these two factions together, but not for long, is somebody "neutral", who sees both sides fairly. Or, there needs to be a change in the business model. I'll leave it at that for now. 'Nough said.
I'm not willing to be an honorary member of the Status Quo. Not on any issue, especially the party hiring issue that leads to party price cost.
Here's why...
1.) I don't like the names: Sales and Discount. I don't want either one applied to how I feel about the party business. "Sales" seems to imply merchandise (or something tangible) that most people don't want or need, because it was marked down, repeatedly, because no one would buy it in the first place. The word has a connotative bent that anyone who isn't a sale-shopper is a stupid shopper (an ultimate "you're either with us, or against us" mentality). Sale and Discount, on the other hand, also often caution that there isn't anything outside of this choice that is worthwhile - buy it discounted or miss out on the Sale. Yuk.
Stop! Don't freak out and start going off about not getting something on sale, even though that's the message I get about how people think these days; that people do (get upset) - they're so used to seeing those two words (and these days justifiably so). Consider your options and simply move forward, creating your own DIY parties like you've been doing. If accepting "Sales" and "Discounts" is contingent on doing business with a party-related businesses, in my experience (from both sides of this thing, by the way; as a consumer and a party pro), choosing the sale or the discount doesn't usually cause your savings to honestly be that great. Most people who define themselves as people who want to get something of value on sale, don't belong to the "discount" group, or wish to shop and get the discount because discount merchandise and products are many times items you could call "seconds" or are discounted things of not that great (or poor) quality. I'm suspicious of anything party-related that gives people only a couple of options. I think you, as a party consumer/customer is a lot more complex and worthy to be valued than that.
2.) It's practically impossible for the party business industry to be taken seriously about wanting you to "join their religion", believing what they believe. Sure, we understand that it makes sense that there are many "party religions" within the overall religious way things have been put together and are run. That's a natural fact of the religious way other industries have also been (and are being) run. I realize that you have no desire to join their "faith" and that you'd much prefer to have them join your ideals and concepts about what you think should be the price of parties and party accessories, and how to hire the best people to do the job.
Will they listen to you voice your opinions about party hiring practies? Lots of people don't believe that getting them to pay attention to you like that is even possible. They probably think that to live your lives not believing what they believe is a form of "evil". So, it appears that the starting point is to understand their perspective and accept it. Not. If you're reading this and you live in the United States of America you have the right and freedom of beliefs. But what you don't want to do is to be closed and limit your options pertaining to what you believe. And you don't want to them to expect you to live within their limitations either.
Your course of action is to ask the right questions because party industry people have absolutely no right to inflict their ideals and party prices onto you, without you asking questions and putting up a fuss, if necessary. And when they try to inflict their beliefs, etc on to you, your option is to put up with it or to decide to walk away and not do business with them.
3.) To not ask questions about anything party-related doesn't make sense to me. And if you don't agree with that, bear with me for a second. To begin with, I most certainly agree that people spending their money to receive quality services should question everything. Prior to "closing the deal", neither the potential customer (you, of course) nor the vendor or supplier is usually completely satisfied, as no one has been declared "hired", which means no one has booked party services - both parties are nothing more than "in limbo". But after a decision has been made and an arrangement/agreement has been reached, this is a whole different story. In a perfect world, the party supplier consumes idea strategy concepts to execute the gig, dismisses wasteful processes, grows and builds upon the original party plan which is what, as a consumer, the customer is paying for; top quality execution-able ideas, or food, or whatever. So it can be demonstrated creatively that the price of planning a party that is being negotiated should be have all of the questions imaginable asked and answered thoroughly at the very beginning.
So who cares?
Who cares? Did I read that right? Who cares? Don't you have a right to ask every question under the sun? Some party planners, sketchy party planners who are only in it for the sake of the money would prefer that answer to be "No, probably not". Rather, it is a potential disaster waiting to happen, whereby several things could go wrong before the final product, so to speak, is revealed. Pro-party business owners would say that what I'm saying is bull-crap, I'm over reacting. Period, end of story. Most consumer/customers will agree with me however, I know - because it makes sense to ask questions. And who's right? Them or us? To question or not to question? They don't want you to ask too many questions. And again... who's really right here? You, them, me. Who? Why bother posing questions when they're just going to tell you what questions you should ask, that they claim to know and say that you really want to know anyway? You see their "pat" answers to their typical questions everywhere, too, don't you? Google "Ask party caterer's questions" and see for yourself. At this point we want answers to some of the hard questions (tough questions) they aren't volunteering to answer, i.e. what happens if you get to my party late?
Isn't this the heart of the matter? The question of what you're supposed to do in the event of a problem, and the argument that to not ask these types of questions is to us... a sacrilege.
The pro-party planner people say yes, questions are good. Some questions. And it's strange, many of these people support the party planners, and support you consumers too. Make up your mind, right? Now of course there's a certain amount of generalizing that I'm doing here, not all pro-party planner supporters are stuck on stupid, not choosing a side that they want to ultimately want to side with. Hell, choose something - even if it makes you uncomfortable. At least making a choice is better than hanging out in 'Nochoiceland". But for these people, it's about safe fence riding, not about riding the wave of getting the answers to informative questions.
Asking the "right" party related questions should begin when we start planning a party. And as crazy as those "from the bottom up" questions maybe - if those questions are the most important ones, then they (party business owners) must tell us the answers to them instead of telling us which questions they want us to ask. Their questions have a right to exist but they're everywhere. Just look around the Net. So, of course they're not unique. The pro-party planning group see this (me saying this) as somehow hypocritical. I don't think it is... you don't think it is, so ultimately asking the right questions is about acknowledging that you have and want the answers to the "tough questions", and choosing to ask them. Now I think that most of us believe is that there is some hypocrisy to be found here, because if (or when) you truly believe that these questions are forbidden and are party hiring and/or price specific sacred - well, what happens when you are nervous about hiring the party pro and you feel like you really need the answer? Do you cave in, go with what "they" want and not ask? What happens if you do ask? Will you be known as a "difficult" customer? And better still... why do you care about being labeled, while seeking the answer? Is it because their ideal of the "right questions" are designed and are hand-delivered to everyone who seeks them by God, or because Publisher's Clearing House is in on it - with a plan to bring you a big fat check for not asking? C'mon! What you want and need to know about hiring party professionals and party prices is damn near sacred because it's important to you. Shouldn't you get what you want? I know you don't own the party business, but you help them keep their doors open - so when you think about it, it begins with you. Amiright?
My thing, our problem, our question, whatever... here is... when do you get the answers to the tough questions? Who decides to reveal that information? You do. You don't and just like you don't know (their answers to the tough questions) now; they'll never tell you.
Some of the party business people will on one hand, tell you the questions to ask and the answers to those questions. The common pro-party business owner's argument is, you might have other questions, but they're not viable unless something bad or negative happens that would cause you to need the answers to those questions, therefore they're not necessary. What? I suppose there is some logic to this, but we could argue that there are many questions that we can think of to ask that don't exist on their agenda of "Questions for Consumers". Because these questions only exist in one very limited environment - ours. We should say that these questions and the answers to them really are important. Real important.
But those questions aren't important, Cater-Hater, I can hear some of them saying... bad or negative situations will never be an issue. Okay, wait. You have got to be kidding me, right? What if these kinds of questions are valid and in need of answer because something goes awry and your customers party ends up being screwed up? Does this still mean these kinds of questions don't need to be asked and answered? Of course not. They better not not answer them! All questions of the Cater-Hater suggested type of pre-party planning questions exist within a range of problems because in real life (and isn't that what we're talking about there), problems exist and happen. In order for these questions of viability to be taken seriously, party business owners have to redefine exactly what problem parameters define specific problems that exist - and allow these problems to become a part of the questions that they currently have on their "Questions to Ask About Party Planning" website list. Good luck with that. Good luck with getting stupid party business owners who don't "get it" in the first place to do that. That's a logic that is met with illogical party business owner consumer related opinions. Sometimes you just have to overlook stupid people who don't "get" you, and think to yourself, "Who cares?" And in reality, who does care?
Me. And you do too. We can see that they don't like the problem questions. How can we tell? Because these kinds of questions, questions about having problems, aren't on their list. Their history shows a repeated lack of "What Do I Do If I Have This Type of a Problem" answers. Frankly, for a bunch of them (who say they're so concerned with addressing consumer needs) to not address the harder questions, well, it's pretty obvious we just got served, "We care about you lip service" once again. Have they not heard of "Talking the talk and walking the walk"? Sorry, but this is what I'm talking about. Being accountable.
So yeah, my point of view is, again, that I just don't see how they can say they're concerned about their customers and not answer the "ugly" questions, and truthfully, the humane thing for them to do is to stop telling you lies, get real, step up and answer everything.
Most answers to the harder questions would best be served being answered truthfully. Court procedures cost more than just money and time.
And so, however they get to the right place on this, my answer to the whole "are we asking the right questions" thing is, get real and be honest. Get. Real. Be Honest. I don't care how they get there. They just need to do it. I damned sure know that they know that they know better. But hey, when you're getting away with what you want to, why change? Like you, I've seen everything that sucks, that can negatively effect a party; planning-wise, and food and beverage-wise. On the face of things, I have to tell you, I don't think they give a sh**; some of them. They're marginally pro-consumer/pro-customer in their way of thinking because they've been getting away with running their "game", getting away with it, for as long as they have. And what they do with their businesses is just that, their business. Because you know you ain't gotta put up with it. They know that too. Yet because we're in the midst of a technological shift and because we've left the industrial revolution behind, things haven't quite worked themselves out yet, and thus... things that are currently "passing" and flying by right now, will be shot down completely in the future - like, not answering our hard questions.
I would say to you, no matter whether the hard questions or the tough questions are questions you honestly have or not, we'll never agree to pretending that the answers to the questions that they're telling us to ask are sufficient. Hell, even people who don't care about party hiring practices and party prices - because having a lack of money isn't their problem; even 3% - 2% - and 1%-er's want to know what to do in the event of a problem: When you're the party pro... what do I do if you're behind schedule? What happens if you run out of food? Who pays for rental items that are lost or stolen? What if the food looks bad and/or tastes bad? Or, if the food is tainted and our guests get sick?
And so you see, this is exactly why I am adamant about writing Party Mad Monday blog posts because, frankly, I think it's terrible that party catering and party planning customers aren't treated fairly. While many of the questions (written above) are profoundly important to many people, not one of these questions is being answered on any caterers or event planners, party planners, or wedding planners website - not that I found, anyway. Not one. Which tells me that there's no way in hell that we'll probably ever come to some type of an agreement that we and they can live with, about getting the right questions answered. And because both sides involved are considered to be powerful; them, because they know how to create what you pay for and us, because you are the ones to pay for it; we will remain divided about this to some degree, if not fully divided. If ignoring our questions is right - half the consumers won't care. When they don't care, the party business owners continue to win. The party industry will continue to run their hustle the way that they have, with assets and energy and a passion to continue to tell us what questions we should ask and the answers to what those questions are. It never ends.
So what's to be done about it?
Well, when it is what it is and you can't force a win, sometimes you need to look at the question(s) from another angle. Which takes me to this obvious point: the question is a symptom, not the problem... treat it as such.
That's right, we've been spending energy on all of the wrong "cute" questions! Screw cakes and flowers, left-over food and menu options. What are you going to do in the event of a problem?
The question is the symptom, not the problem - so, in other words: No party has ever been produced that wasn't - bear with me here - problematic. No skitz, Sker-lock? Right. No skitz. You know what I'm saying. No shit.
And that's the real question - the question that, unbeknownst to some people, has many pseudo-solutions, solutions that we haven't been living with because no cater hater-type person caused us to think about it this way; meaning, we didn't even think about questioning it. But tell me something. Are we even willing to ask them the tough questions?
Because the answer isn't merely just "the answer", although that's the main part of it. The best thing about asking hard party questions is that one question's answer will not answer all (possible issues). Of course. The answers here range from finding a caterer/planner who will answer these questions in the manner that satisfies you, to take them to court and sue them if they screw up. Some answers aren't right for some people, and some answers are right for others.
One of the best things about this is posing the question(s) in the first place, supported by positive party business owners (because there are, believe it or not, some positive ones out there) coming up with real effective, tough question answers for a change. If they were to put half as much effort into supporting the idea of answering the questions that most people hiring a party pro want the answers to yet never ask, this wouldn't be a topic of conversation among many and a Cater-Hater blog post.
Sure, I get it. I understand that many party business owners don't like the "problem" questions we want answers to because they feel that having problems with their businesses is a "problem" within itself that they don't want to deal with. Fine. Be that way. But realize, you've got two choices here, Mr. and/or Mrs. Party Business Owner... lose our business because you won't play fair and answer our questions or play fair, answer our questions and keep our business. Remember, we've already spoken. We're online and we're looking for DIY party information, not you.
The key verbiage here is: wanted answers to questions that you're not addressing party industry business people. And the only solution, as we see it, is a solution that suits both sides - party hiring practices and party prices; you either answer our questions, or meet us in court (when you screw us, unintentionally or otherwise). This is something for both sides (the party hiring practices/party prices thing): are we asking the right questions we can both agree on, that they're willing to own their answers for - even if we have to impose the answers to the other side?
If all party customers/consumers got together and pushed to get the answers to the hardest questions - by whatever means - then we'd make the issues of having the answers to these questions moot. The questions would be rarer than the answers. As they should be.
Being good. Or, being good at it.
When you give people a choice, they take it.
Don't let them strip your consumer-rights dignity away. As a party consumer you should be affirmed. I understand your mindset. I understand that you're "over" it. You need a winning platform that will give you the edge you need that can allow you to depict your best selves through your parties. The magic you need is to do what works.
What works is to ask tough questions... and then get the answers out of them, easily.
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I do this... I write to help to create to opportunities for all who choose to pursue their passion to have parties (almost) irregardless to economic constraints.
I think if we keep talking about the cost of parties (I write blog posts, you write comments), together, maybe we can break down some of the party industry's price barriers and shame some of the people who've taken your money and delivered a poor quality product right into growing a conscious and treating you right (nice thought, huh?).
Opportunities to be inspired about parties are everywhere. Yet, people looking out for your wallet are few and far between. My goal is to inspire you, causing you to question the way things are that have been the status quo for too long. When we stand together and speak up, we can be a powerful force.
Let's keep the conversation of change going. Because in the sea of everyone talking, one voice is a whisper... several voices are a scream.
Leave a comment and share your thoughts, ideas and suggestions below. Remember to be as specific as possible because what you have to say helps us all.
Always... be encouraged and encourage others too,
