Paris Hilton, with no real claim to fame, once said, "I don't like parties past 2 a.m. Then it's all losers and weirdos." … and like Paris, I figure well - it's after 2 a.m. (somewhere), so the losers and weirdos I talk to about here on Cater-Hater are up for grabs.Reader Advisory: about Party Mad Monday posts.
And for newcomers that aren't "in the know", the losers and weirdos that I'm talking about are the dumbo party business owners – people that make about as much sense to us as Paris Hilton ironing bacon.
Ironing bacon is kind of far fetched when you think about it... isn't it?
But as you can see, it's true. In Paris' world, the words "bacon" and "iron" do go together in the same sentence. But just in case I'd have doubters that this is, in fact, true to her (or was true to her)... I thought, Play show and tell. Thus, the photographic/image as proof. I didn't want you to think I was just "capping" on Paris or talking smack about her for nothing, and that I made the whole thing up.
Always profound in her thoughts, ideas, and comments, Paris is a now a slightly distant reflection on today's pop-culture radar. But, trust me. Paris did have a plan. I'm not willing to debate anyone about how smart her plan was or how smart she even is (or isn't). Because like party business owners, in Paris' mind – well, let's just say - girlfriend had some kind of plan; to either cook or smooth out bacon, right? Was it an intelligent or good plan? In certain circles, that could be debatable. But at least she had a plan. Hey you guys, what's going on with party business owners: do these people even have a plan?
Party business owners aren't all that smart. At least Paris was smart enough to "get over" on the Hollywood fame machine and make a beau coup grip of money before she declined into the great Kardashian family reality TV show abyss. This is too often the fate of reality TV hit makers. A life on reality TV can probably consume you, and when that part of your life is over, it might be kind of difficult to begin again. For some reality TV show people, it's probably incredibly hard to come to terms with the fact that they will never again do the things that were so much a part of their every day lives for however long it lasted. As dumb as Paris Hilton is, or as dumb as she has portrayed herself to be, one thing is for sure - she's made a lot of money. I believe that much of what we saw was an "act". And, I bet you dollars to donuts she had her act planned all along.
If Paris Hilton didn't have a plan, she'd look just like some party business owners; whining and complaining about the monster they created, while trying to figure out how to pay off all of their bills. I don't remember Paris complaining so much as I remember Paris being a "party girl" getting in trouble... and then maybe complaining about that. So, at least it appears that she had some type of a plan; if nothing else but to get rich... oh, and of course, party. Party business owners, by and large, remind me of a bunch of unfocused complainers.
Huh? What?
Here's what I mean. Some of you party business owners might still have a few good customers, but you’ll never have the camaraderie with today's potential customers like you did with your customers from the past. That unique bond that you had, with even those you really couldn't stand to deal with or do business with, has been broken. And, if you think this is an inaccurate forecast, then tell me why Party City is doing better numbers than most of you are.
Now we all realize that it's incredibly difficult to go from commanding top dollar and getting it to watching potential party customers drive past your businesses, in search of a better deal. Pre-2007 and 2008 Global Financial Crisis, your phone was ringing off the hook when you were shouting orders to your employees like “C'mon you guys! Hurry up! Let's get this party started!” while charging out the door - thinking about getting ready for the next party, to the sound of crickets and the most exciting event being a "How to get more business in the door" brainstorming session (if your business is still open) with those you could afford to keep on your payroll, who still work(ed) in your office.
They feel like this guy
For a lot of us party professionals it’s demeaning, humiliating even. Some of us can’t bear the thought of it, so we try our hand at a different niche within the party industry. We become consultants or move into lousy party service jobs so we can stay near the party atmosphere on some level, even if we feel it's beneath us. And it get’s worse. Big time "party cooties": you can see it in someones eyes when you show up at an industry mixer and say that you had to "close shop" when you're asked who you currently work for. You can see it in the eyes of those you run into when you're a wholesale food or floral vendors location, those dammed people, and even if you didn't advertise you were on the verge of going out of business or that you have definitely already gone out of business (with no signs in the windows) somehow they just know you’re no longer "one of them". And it just kills you, because everything after party life has been one long anti-climax party life for you, everyday.
Truth is, they bore the ever living daylights out of everybody who knows them with endless tales of success and grandeur. Eventually, people stop listening. Or, they simply roll their eyes to the point where it steals the enjoyment that they get out of telling the stories... yet, again. So, eventually they join some of their "professional" organization friends at a NACE (National Association for Catering and Events) or EPA (Event Planners Association) after-event (because they can no longer afford to be an "active", paid up member) on some Saturday night, getting drunk at some local "watering hole", telling them the same dammed stupid party stories that they used to tell to each other before things "went South" (they went out of business), over and over again. They bitch endlessly about who they call the "stupid people" who've made it through the financial holocaust that have kept their businesses, the endless parties they could have been booking, the shoddy workmanship the "players" that are left in the game put out, the shitty food they serve, the lack of sleep they used to get - producing parties at first, then worrying about how they would pay their bills, the greedy competition and how they were never like that, and the many party customers (like you guys) who-don’t-understand.
They state angrily how much they hated social media (which was a major part of their problem in the first place - not connecting with their customer base), specifically MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and Google+ and whatever other social media outlets they hate, really fucking hate, man. I'm not kidding. And the thing is, they had no plan and they can’t stop talking about what they talk about; which clearly tells us that they in fact, didn't, have a damn plan. And they never get tired of it, or each other. A significant fraction of them don’t last five years, Paris Hilton made it thirteen (She's 32 years old now, by the way), which is better than average, but then she was what some would consider to be an "above average" kind of gal anyway. Some party business owners end up like Paris... partying and drinking too much, and they start eating too much and too often, they don't exercise, and the next thing you know marriages fall apart and they join the "Divorce Club". And many of them just slowly fade away.But, as you can tell (when I gave notice and left Metro-Detroit three years ago), for the record: I have no intention of just fading away. I did my kicking and screaming, hoopin' and a hollerin', went to bed angry and woke up feeling rejuvenated. That’s why it's important to have a plan and set goals for your post party retirement life. All of which leads me explicable most of the time … and here.
I do have a plan.
The broad outline of which is: I intend to use this platform, called Cater-Hater, to become the Empress of the Universe. Relax, I didn’t say Empress Evil-ina From Hell, I’ll be a good Empress, you’ll love me, you’ll cheer me on in the streets, you’ll name your children after me (you’d better name them Carlo [no, not Cater-Hater, silly!], no one else did... and another thing is... there will be consequences if you don't. LOL!) I mean, otherwise, what’s the point... right?
Details are pending. Keep coming back to check out Party Mad Monday's.
*****
I do this... I write to help to create to opportunities for all who choose to pursue their passion to have parties almost irregardless regard to economic constraints.
I think if we keep talking about the cost of parties (I write blog posts, you write comments), together, maybe we can break down some of the party industry's price barriers and shame some of the people who've taken your money and delivered a poor quality product right into growing a conscious and treating you right (nice thought, huh?).
Opportunities to be inspired about parties are everywhere. Yet, people looking out for your wallet are few and far between. My goal is to inspire you, causing you to question the way things are that have been the status quo for too long. When we stand together and speak up, we can be a powerful force.
Let's keep the conversation of change going. Because in the sea of everyone talking, one voice is a whisper... several voices are a scream.
Leave a comment and share your thoughts, ideas and suggestions below. Remember to be as specific as possible because what you have to say helps us all.
Always... be encouraged and encourage others too,
“Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage..” - Brené Brown
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