Community Magazine

Parents Are People Too

By Momishblog @momishblog
It turns out parents are people too.  I say this more as a daughter and daughterish then I do as Momish.  Although I hope that one day the Sonish realizes this too.
Just yesterday I was having lunch with a friend who was telling me about growing up in her "modern" family.  As the stories went on we both made comments like, "When I started seeing my parents as people it was a lot easier to understand them."  We both later admitted that we were well into our 30's before we actually began to see them that way.   For her, she was able to pinpoint the day that she began seeing her parents as people.  It was the day her how husband met her father.  Instead of seeing him as a source of pain and drama he saw a flawed human who was simply trying to live his life in the best way he could.  When she began seeing her parents through his eyes she began interacting with her parents differently.  She began to understand them differently.
I can't pinpoint a day that I began to see my parents that way.  Even though my upbringing required me to grow up faster than my peers (that's an entirely different Oprah), I always saw my parents as parents.  To me they were the people who were supposed to always be striving to create a Cleaver like household for me even though it was NEVER going to happen. They were supposed to be the people who treated me less like an adult and more like a child without worries.  They were supposed to give me everything I wanted and cherish every challenge I presented because I was just that cute or so I thought.  As I moved into adulthood I repeatedly became frustrated with the fact that my childhood didn't reflect what I thought it should have.  I was often expected to act like an adult, take on adult responsiblities like making meals and managing household chores.  If I'm being honest, from time to time I was angry about not growing up in the household I longed for.
Then it hit me.  My parents are people.  Hell, they weren't even full grown people when I was born they were both still in their teens when I was born.  They were barely old enough to have recieved a college degree by the time my brother came along.  With the wisdom that only time brings (I like that saying so much better than "with age") I began to see that they did the best with the wisdom and knowledge they had.  Everything they've done over the years was out of love, even if their focus wasn't exactly where I wanted it to be.  Loving us never ceased even when they made mistakes personally or professionally.   That love is what has carried me through every challenge, every hurdle, and every difficulty in my life.
And what were the challenges, really?  Some of them were pretty horrible but each one of them brought me right where I am today.  Would I change who I am today?  Absolutely not.  You see, today I'm a wonderfully flawed Momish with a life that I make mistakes in and some days can't focus enough to get right.  I'm a wife and a writer and a friend and a daughter and a deeply spiritual woman who has yet to dig deep enough to really understand who she is at the core.  Who knows, maybe I'll never completely know but what I can hope for is that one day the Sonish sees me as the beautifully flawed human being that loved him unconditionally for all time just like I see my parents today.

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog