Paradise Lost

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.."- John Milton
Hi all. Bree here having a pity party for one.
I had hopes for my date with Paradise last Thursday. While he seemed to be intelligent and funny, I felt absolutely no spark, no chemistry. In fact, I felt he looked his age, perhaps even a tad older. I can't honestly picture dating someone with gray hair. Gray at 38? I think he spent quite a bit of time reading (maybe memorizing) my profile and kept referring to parts of it. That was a new one. At the end of the night, he tried to kiss me but I told him that I wasn't ready. I felt a little bad but I have to be honest. I don't want to waste my time or his time if I don't feel any physical attraction to him at all.
 Well, technically, I have dated balding and now gray. I'm officially done with both. If men can be ageist and want someone youthful looking, so can I. I had to go modify my age groups on the online dating sites I'm on. I have decided 36 is my limit, exception is if the guy is hot and/or younger looking.
I helped Betty with her Match.com profile and decided to give it a shot for 3 months myself. It really is difficult to express yourself in a positive, interesting, unique, and concise manner.
Online dating can be a bit more brutal and way more superficial. After all, you are looking at pictures and the profile. How long ago were these pictures taken? What if the guy's not that photogenic? Or as Betty asked about one guy, "He's hot. Why isn't he married? What's wrong with him?"
I'm thinking that if nothing pans out in a couple months, I may just take myself off the market for a bit.
Dating is such an emotional and mental rollercoaster. I am still getting over Mac Guy. It wasn't even him per se that I miss but the companionship (among other things).
I'm hoping that the next few weeks will pick up and I will be back to my usual cheery self.
Until next time, cheerio.