I was born to be a mother. As a child all my toys were dolls, not teddy bears or Barbies. Baby dolls. Preferably ones that cried or closed their eyes, the more lifelike the better. Now, as a 32 year old woman (gasp! Did I just write that for the world to see?) I still have some of those dolls, the special ones that worked their way into my heart as I pretended to be a momma all those years ago. When it came time to start trying to get pregnant, I wasn’t concerned in the least. After all, I’m the youngest of 5, at that point most of my siblings had kids, and I was born to be a mom. So, nothing to fear. Or was there? After three years of not trying to not get pregnant, I hadn’t gotten pregnant. As time went on, I saw every specialist under the sun and prayed so hard my knees were callused. But each test, treatment or prayer brought the same result: no baby.
In the midst trying to tackle our infertility I started working with at risk kids, most of who were in foster care. Day after day my heart broke for these children who so wanted exactly what my hubby and I did, a family. One night, while watching the weekly installment of Wednesday’s Child, it dawned on us that we could make a difference. We could be the forever family one of these children were searching for. So we called our local DPHHS and started the long process of the paper pregnancy.
During the home study segment of the process we learned of Hannah, a little girl who had been in and out of foster care since she was a baby. Our hearts broke over this child who had been in multiple placements, so when our social worker wondered if we would be interested, Hubby and I instantly said we would. But again, things weren’t that simple. For nearly a year we heard about Hannah, and waited for CPS to make the decision as to whether or not they were going to terminate parental rights and place her in an adoptive home. When they did, we were there. A month shy of her 8th birthday Hannah joined us in our home, filling a void and helping to build the family we had dreamed of.
Two years later, after multiple failed attempts at biological children and adopted children, we were approached by an elderly woman in our community who had care of her twin grandchildren. She had heard of us through a woman in her church and stated she was looking for a family for the twins, as she could not care for them herself. The ironic thing was that I knew these children. Two and a half years earlier, when they were six months old, a friend of mine had pointed them out to me. She explained their story and stated with absolute certainty that they should be ours. I couldn’t have been more shocked when her premonition seemed to be coming true! In June of 2012 we finalized their adoption and became a forever family of five.
Though our process hasn’t been typical and we certainly are not the average family, we all have each other. And in the end, that’s what matters. A forever family doesn’t start in a hospital room or in a lawyer’s office signing papers. It starts with the simple word “yes” and the recognition in your heart that this child, though not of your blood, was meant to be yours.
About the Family & Author
