The subject of online dating is the brunt end of many jokes. I, myself, have been very liberal about lashing out (half jokingly) against sites like E-harmony, Match.com, or dateacougar.com…although, admittedly, finding a rich cougar to go out with sounds…pretty damn awesome the more and more I think about it. WHY IS THIS SUCH A DOUBLE STANDARD? Why can’t I be a MALE GOLD DIGGER? I AM SO DOWN to just marry a rich woman and not do anything for the rest of my life. OH MAN. That’s the life…sigh. When I daydream like this, I have a tendency of visualizing all the POSITIVE things (like the enormous amounts of money, nice cars, etc. that I would gain) and not so much the negative things (like the old woman that I had to marry to accomplish this goal..and…possible cellulite…I would have to…VOMIT -_____-).
Online dating FEELS like you’re selling out. It’s like Youtube. Youtube gave people the opportunity to succeed in the world of media and entertainment without having to go through the painstaking journey that is normally required to make it in Hollywood. Save Justin Bieber, it’s pretty difficult to make the jump from “Youtube” to main stream because Youtube is “frowned upon”.
And so we find a similar dilemma with Online Dating. It doesn’t feel “authentic”. Meet two people who’ve met each other online, and you can’t help but feel like their “how we met” story is just not that amazing. “Oh, we met each other through the internet” just does NOT have the romantic gusto as “we fell in love at first sight”.
The problem is that we hear all these AMAZING, INSANE, MIND BLOWING stories of people who met in extremely unique and “romantic” ways, and…we WANT THAT. The reality is, these stories are the product of maybe like 7% of our society, and these stories circulate as “one time I heard about my friend who knows a friend, who knows a cousin, who knows a brother that…” type of stories. But still culture tells us that we NEED to meet our woman/man in the most awesome, unique way possible! Movie after movie depicts some of the most amazing, heartfelt hook-up stories we could ever imagine…AND OH MAN, do we fall victim to its enticing ways.
I WANT so bad to meet a girl on some amazing adventure, where both of us get stranded on an island, and at first we absolutely HATE each other (because, naturally, we’re both stubborn), but by the end, we fall madly in love and…do…things…together…on…the…secluded…island…like…go swimming in a lagoon or something. -__-;;
I WANT so bad to fall in love with my best friend, and for her to fall in love with me. How, even though we NEVER thought we would love each other…through some “epiphany” or some “moment of truth” I find out that I DO LOVE HER! AND THAT I WANT TO MARRY HER! And I end up STORMING IN on her wedding, and when the guy says “if anyone has any reason why these two should not get married say so now or forever hold your peace”, I WANT TO SCREAM “I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT BECAUSE I LOVE HER!!!!!!!” To which, of course, she would scream “I LOVE YOU TOO”, and immediately leave the altar. All of this, of course, would be completely justified because she would love me back and the guy she’s marrying would be a douchebag. DOWN WITH THE DOUCHEBAGS.
I WANT so bad to write my phone number on a dollar bill while on a date with a girl, and tell her “baby, if you get this dollar bill one day…then call me because we’re meant to BE!!!!” And then 2 years later find out she got that dollar bill and that FATE HAS BROUGHT US TOGETHER.
OH MAN. I WANT AN AWESOME “HOW WE MET STORY”.
And then I wake up. And realize that, honestly, “how we met” stories mean absolutely nothing if the “how we work together as a couple” story doesn’t add up. WHO CARES HOW YOU MET, if the actual relationship sucks or doesn’t work out that well.
And even though I know and say that…I find myself in a dilemma. I’m both idealistic and realistic. I think, to a certain extent, most people have that inner turmoil. Some people are extremes, of course…but most people are constantly waging war in their soul with what they “idealistically” want and versus what they “realistically” know they can get. It’s TOUGH. So hard to balance the two.
But I think that when it comes to online dating…at a certain point, taking the plunge is honestly the best option that you have. This is because the thing about meeting people is that…after a certain point, itstops. You don’t really “go out” as much anymore, and your social network becomes more and more “defined”. It’s really difficult to meet new people the older you get, unless you go out on a ton of blind dates.
Yet…we have the RARE opportunity in the 21st century to meet HUNDREDS of people with the CLICK of a freaking button through the internet. ONE CLICK OF THE BUTTON AND YOU CAN MEET HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WHO MAY WANT TO DATE YOU! DAYUM. And not only that, but these people are (supposedly) COMPATIBLE with you.
Honestly, no matter which way you look at it, that’s ABSOLUTELY amazing. And as much as I joke about online dating, I know many people in my life who’ve tried online dating, and it’s worked out INCREDIBLY well for them. I know at least two couples who ended up getting married after dating online, and another couple who just got engaged. IT WORKS. And I guarantee you that, when they are happily married and pumping out babies (or at least doing the ACT of pumping out babies without actually…pumping out babies), they will not look back and say “it’s unfortunate that we didn’t have a great “how we met” story.” Honestly, meeting a person that you love a lot, and for her/him to love you back…that in itself is an INCREDIBLY story.
And so with that, everyone is different…but I say that if you’re getting a little bit “further along” in age (I just turned 27 this past monday, FML), and you’re still not dating…maybe it’s time to take the online dating plunge. Anyone want to start a Eharmony profile with me?
