To celebrate one year of Aunty Bill Gfb is dedicating this weekend to our agony aunt. Here is another one of his/her classic cases here for you to enjoy.
Give Thanks For Aunty Bill!
Bedspread Jiggery Pokery
Aunty Bill,
Please help. I found my sister in bed with my man last night. There was a lot of jiggling going on under the bedspread. They denied any hanky panky and swore they were re-enacting key skirmishes from the Battle of the Bulge. Should I believe them?
Elsie, The Ardennes
Aunty Bill Replies
Dear Elsie,
Difficult one this. I was caught in a not too dissimilar situation a few years ago (although not with your boyfriend I hasten to add) and used the excuse of having to look for my sister-in-law’s false teeth that had somehow dislodged themselves from the book I had given her to bite on as she suffered from an epileptic fit. Necessity being the mother of invention and all that.
I think that a similar scenario is developing here. On this occasion I would give them the benefit of doubt but if this occurrence repeats itself and they can’t come up with anything more current (the Arab Spring uprising, re-enacting Pearl Harbour or negotiating a super tanker through the Straits of Hormuz) then I would kick them both into touch.
After all, we’ve all fallen for the Battle of the Bulge routine before! I could make a cheap jibe about Prussian helmets but I won’t as I think you have enough on your (Battle of River) plate at the moment.
Good luck!
Aunty Bill
