Short cuts are like trying to take one giant leap from the bottom of the stairs to the top of the stairs. We want to get to the top of the stairs. We talk and talk about going and yet there we stand. The reason being, it is impossible to get from the bottom to the top of a flight of stairs in one step. Stairs were made to be used, but they were made to be used one step at a time. You cannot catapult yourself straight to the top.
How many times do we do that, whether it is for recovery or some other area in life. We want NOW, we want to bypass the stairs in between and just be at the top. The problem with catapulting ourselves to the top is that we get hurt. Or we can stand at the bottom, and shake our heads and walk sadly away. Give up, give in, it’s not for me.
You can’t do either. If you want something so much then the only way is to take the stairs, one step at a time. It can become a lengthy process. You can find yourself coming back down or sitting down on certain steps for a while. Or if you are like me, you trip on the damn stair and tumble back down. (LOL, not a pretty sight).
The most important part people forget is that each step provides a lesson to be learned. Each step is an integral part of your journey. Babies don’t just grow into adults in one leap. The steps of each stage are vital for growth and maturity. The same process is in recovery and journeys. Missing the steps can mean you have to go back and do them again at some stage. Recovery is about taking baby steps.
It is daunting when you are so sick with an eating disorder, or depression, or a traumatised mess to look at the top of the stairs when you are at the bottom. It’s like, no way will I get there. You look at those standing around at the top of the steps and feel intimidated and unworthy. Giving up and not trying only validates the negative voice in your head. You have given it space and confirmation that you are not worthy. Don’t let the voice stop you from trying. Each step you take forward, takes you that bit further away from the voice.
Instead, keep the top of the stairs as your goal, dream and hope. Then put your everyday focus on the step right in front of you. First step, then second step, third step ….. When you next take a look at your goal, you find you a just that bit closer. You can look behind you and see where you have come from and what you have learned. Be careful though in the looking behind, that you don’t define it as your only comfort zone. It needs to be left behind. It is your past, not your present, nor your future. Each step you take will take you further from that ‘comfort zone’ you are used to. But you find new comfort zones, new places to be yourself in. And believe me, they are far better ones than the one you left behind. Courage.
