High level anxiety. Exams are coming, Japan is coming, grading is coming. Sophie is getting wound up. She has been snapping at me the last week, suddenly flying off at me, being bitchy and almost deliberating mis-reading what I say.
She is finding it frustrating. I am trying to pin what is pushing each outburst. She has managed to get the assessments done etc herself with no exemptions. But the exams are really beginning to frighten her. What if her marks suck? What if she can’t remember her work? So much what ifs. As I reminded her, we can always set in place the exemptions again if need be. I also suggested going to see her counselor. But now she won’t do that. What for??? Suggested that not doing grading for this term is also an option. It is not a failure to miss grading, when she has so much happening, and she knows she can only cope with so much.
I am wondering what is driving what here. Not wanting to speak to her counselor speaks of isolation. Been two missed meals, nothing to worry about but enough to make me quietly watch. Voices slowly building but mainly anxiety voice.
The line is fine isn’t it. Everyone gets nervous about exams and going somewhere they have never been but for Soph and others like her, it is always bigger and deeper. And it makes you stand out doesn’t it. Sophie’s friends are amazed at how anxious she is and have said she’d never have coped doing the HSC in one year. Told her she would have failed. Nice one. Just what my daughter needed to feel odd man out. Every day life becomes a mine field when adding an eating disorder and it’s associated character traits into it.
So one day at a time, working through each stress, making sure she eats and sleeps. Reminding her of her distraction tool box, reminding her that her team are always there and willing to listen to her. She does not have to do this alone. Ever.
