Diaries Magazine

New Year's Resolutions Resolved

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
I’ve been considering New Year’s resolutions.
I’ve resolved not to make any resolutions, because I am utterly shit at not only sticking to them, but even remembering what they were.
In the past I’ve resolved to do the usual –
  • Be healthy, positive, happy
  • Spend less, eat less crap, drink less
  • Take more time away from the various screens – computer, mobile, TV

One time I lasted until January 20th.
Admittedly, it was a slow year.  I hadn’t spent much time reflecting, and so I’d made just one single resolution – stop swearing.
New Year's resolutions resolved
Anyone who knows me will be amazed that I lasted 20 days.
It was the year the Twin Tornado were born, and so I had that whole honeymoon phase of being loved up with my new babies around, and conscious of my oldest baby (who had recently turned 3) not feeling left out.
Stellar effort on my part to get through 20 days before dropping an “oh for fuck’s sake, Chris!” at #1Hubby for something totally random but nonetheless irritating.
My big girl promptly repeated me.
An impressive sentence for a 40 month old
I was filled with mixed emotions – horror, regret, pride, recognition.
Regardless, the shine had been removed from my 20 day stint at maintaining a New Year’s resolution.
So anyway no good has ever come out of me attempting to make resolutions.
This year I resolve not to make resolutions.

New Year's resolutions resolved

...or, you know, as close to perfect as I can possibly get. Ahem.


Happy New Year everyone, may your resolutions be slightly deeper than mine, but just as attainable.

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