Nakita turned 14 on Sunday. As I sat watching her sipping her hot chocolate and excitedly opening her birthday gifts I wiped away the tear from my eye.
Looking at her amazes me, fills my heart with such pride it is fit to burst. I feel the tears fill my eyes when I watch her laughing, dancing or just playing games with the younger kids.
This beautiful and intelligent young lady was my first baby. Fourteen years ago I held her for the very first time and I promised her that I would always love and protect her.
I had only just turned 19 when Nakita was born. I had no idea how much she would change my life. She was my lifeline from day one. We have been through so much together, some good, some bad and some, well almost crazy.
She has driven me insane with worry, made me laugh, smile, cry and pull my hair out all in the same day.
She is an amazing big sister to her siblings, will always be there for them. She has a heart of gold and despite having to be told to tidy her room, doesn’t have any faults. School reports are all full of compliments and her friends all adore her.
I wonder sometimes if I am good enough for her, do I give her enough time and attention? She is the age I was when my own battles began. I never want my daughter to ever feel the way I did at her age.
We have a great relationship, we have rules. If she needs to talk to me then she tells me. Then I make spare time to go to talk to her. That’s our rule. I have always made her aware that no matter what is going on in my own life, if she needs me, then I am there.
We had a horrid time last year, she moved out for a while to live with her dad. She was away 7 weeks, it felt like 7 years. She then confided in me that she was gay and was so worried I would hate her, she didn’t know what else to do. I just hugged her.
She gets teary when she thinks of that time. She feels like she let me down, I feel like I let her down.
We talk, we laugh, we argue and we both sulk. We are very much alike, I get annoyed when she wears my new top and she gets annoyed when I wear her new boots.
Then we kiss and make up and I remind her daily how much she will always be my baby, it does not matter that her boobs are 5 times the size of mine, or she towers inches above me these days, she is still my baby.
When did my baby grow up?
