Dating Magazine

My Ex Wants To Get Back Together Are You Kidding Me

By Amperkins @How2getmyexbac1
My ex wants to get back together? Is this your incredulous reaction when your ex calls you back after months of no contact? Perhaps he/she is the one who broke up with you or maybe you instigated the split. Either way, it might be somewhat of a surprise to have this person show up in your life again. And, if nothing else, it gets you thinking. . . what should you do?
Obviously, it all depends on the situation and circumstances and, especially, what state of mind you are in right now.
If your ex is the one that broke up with you and you've just finally started to settle into your new life without him/her, you might be temped to just tell him/her to leave you alone. This is perfectly natural and you'll probably feel good about it. Keep in mind that this might induce your ex to try even harder.
If you're still feeling the pain of your split and you still miss your ex, you may be relieved to have him/her asking you back. But be careful and tread slow here. Even if you feel like saying "Yes!" immediately, you might want to just ask him/her to call you back in a couple of days so you can think about it. If he/she does call you back, then they've earned a point. Try asking for a few more days. See how far it gets you and how far you want to take it.
But it's a good way to superficially test the sincerity of your ex. If you were the one who did the breaking up, you've got a whole different attitude and your feelings will probably be more readable; since you most likely went through them in your mind before breaking up.
Chances are that his/her first thought when your ex wants to get back together is that you will forgive him/her for breaking up with you in the first place or for causing you to want to break up. If you do plan to take him/her up on the offer, you need to forgive him/her in order to go on. Then, make sure that you know clearly and precisely what you want out of the relationship. And remember that you now are in the position to ask what you want and to also stipulate what you don't. Talk about it and see how your ex reacts.
Of course when you do decide to give the relationship a try, you also need to give your ex what he/she wants as well. Ask your ex to be specific about what he/she needs from you and then evaluate how well you will be able to fill them. Is there something that you just cannot do? If so, it's probably better to let the relationship go once again. Otherwise, you will be soon headed for your second break-up.
Hopefully this has helped you in your "my ex wants to get back together" situation.

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