A brave mum reveals that watching her ex and his girlfriend play happy families with her daughter send her over the edge. While already suffering from postnatal depression, to see her ex and his new partner being so happy together as a family, made her feel even more worthless.
My Ex And His Girlfriend Play Happy Families With My Daughter; My Story
I became a single Mum when I was pregnant with Hannah in 2009, which for me was a very scary experience, I didn’t know how I was going to cope. I’d never planned to have children or ever felt I had that maternal instinct to care & look after a child.
When Hannah was born on 22nd September 2009 my whole world turned upside down.
I ended up with severe postnatal depression, something which is still a taboo subject & something I would never want to go through again.
At first I did everything with her & did enjoy being a mum.
I got up for the night feeds, made sure she was dressed & got her out for a walk every day but after 3 or 4 weeks had passed I started to deteriorate.
I began to struggle to get up for the night feeds, started snapping at everyone, this ended with me and Hannah being kicked out from my mums.
I tried my best to get Hannah’s dad more involved but he had more important plans. He had a new girlfriend and when he did take an interest he and his girlfriend tried to play happy families with my daughter and dis this right in front of my eyes.
My ex and his girlfriend play happy families with my daughter while I am left feeling like I cannot be a good enough mum to her, it tore me about and sent my depression into a downward spiral.
I started to do really strange things, which to me where pretty mental when i take a look back now.
I got it into my head that Hannah didn’t belong to me that I’d never given birth to her; I even walked out the door intending never to return.
When I came back home, I booked myself in to see the doctor who referred me to counselling and gave me anti-depressants.
It was ok to start off with, talking about old problems until she turned around and said you are good enough, she requested that I stood in front of a mirror every day and repeat this to myself.
I felt stupid at the thought of this and never went back; I even stopped taking my tablets.
Hannah’s dad and I started arguing because of this and some very horrible things were said, especially on his part, one was that I’d tried to trap him by having Hannah. This was not true and where did he get this idea from in the first place?
I freaked when I first found out as the end of our relationship was a mutual one between us, it soon became apparent when his girlfriend decided to join in.
In the end I would run and locked myself in the bathroom that was it I no longer wanted to be here.
I started to look for as many pills as I could and took them all.
When they eventually got me to open the door I said nothing and went to sit down where I started to dose, that is until they went into the bathroom and noticed the empty pill rappers in the bin.
They tried to get me to be sick, his girlfriend even put her hands around my wind pipe and apparently this was supposed to help me be sick? They eventually phoned an ambulance to which I got admitted for the night.
When I got home the next day, they wouldn’t let me anywhere near Hannah, everything just clicked and I was devastated, to make matters worse his girlfriend had cleared my bank account claiming she didn’t know how much nappies or wet wipes cost.
I took the money back and after much persuasion managed to convince Hannah’s dad to let me take her shopping, it was what I needed, to start bonding again with my daughter.
That feeling was short lived once I got back to the house; his girlfriend had started to interfere.
They had decided while I was out that this was the last time they were going to leave me alone with Hannah, I was under house arrest.
After a week of not being left out or even being left alone with Hannah I decided I’d had enough, they had gone away for the night and had left me and Hannah with one of their friends. I waited till she was in bed, phoned my ex supported lodger to pick me up and then left with Hannah, I was free.
I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later with Bethany, which again made me panic due to the overdose and what if I’d done any damage to the baby.
From that point on I turned my life around, continued to build mine and Hannah’s bond from strength to strength and concentrated on being positive, ready for my next new arrival.
Bethany-Rose was born on 12th December 2010 and apart from a few slight health issues, which she has now grown out of she completed our little family.
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mum who is either a member of my Facebook mums group, a Twitter follower or has been submitted to me via email. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me. You could help us share the blogs love to helping others by sharing via the social sharing buttons.
