Let’s just be honest for a minute.
I’m heavy. Overweight. I shop in the plus size section, my stomach protrudes, and I haven’t seen a “thigh gap” since I don’t know when.
And I am beautiful.
I have an electric smile. A contagious laugh. I was blessed with nearly perfect skin. I give amazing hugs. I look great in blue. I love my nose. I am intelligent.
There are beautiful, wonderful things about me. And I am overweight.
It took me a long time to say “and”. It used to be “but”. I have an electric smile but I am overweight. I look great in blue but I am overweight.
And sure, some days I look in the mirror and wish I had been blessed with a different body. With a different coping mechanism. With more of a desire to work-out. I wasn’t, though, and that’s okay. I am working towards being the me that I want to be inside, and I am overweight.
Our society puts a lot of pressure on people to look perfect. To be perfect. Male, female, old, young, gay, straight – it doesn’t matter, there is some kind of box y0u are supposed to fit in, and if you don’t – well, you might as well get a thicker skin.
I’ve been called names. People have oinked or mooed at me as I walk past. And it doesn’t bounce right off. It seeps into your skin and rests among your veins waiting for the moment when you’re at your lowest to remind you, “that guy you walked past the other day? He mooed at you.”
Struggling with body issues is pretty common anymore, though I wish it wasn’t. I wish I didn’t know young women who hate how their body looks at 12, or at 16, or at 22. I wish I didn’t know young men who layer up when they run so that they can sweat the extra fat off. I wish I didn’t know so many people who skipped meals intentionally or counted calories or pinched and poked at their bodies in the mirrors.
I do know those people, though. And so do you. Maybe you’re one of them. And I wish I could hug you close to me and remind you that you’re beautiful, that your smile and your laugh and your skin and your weight are all beautiful parts of you. Instead I want you to remember that, in your own time, you will find the strength to love yourself exactly as you are. And I want you to remember that, if you need help, you can ask for it. I hope you ask for it.
And I hope that, no matter what your body looks like, you’re able to say “and”. I am beautiful and my body is beautiful.
