Family Magazine

Mounting Evidence I Might Not Be That Bright.

By Kidfreeliving @kidfreeliving

*this could become a regular series.

When you graduate Salutatorian it can give you the idea that you’re pretty smart.

Then, when you look back and realize you were Salutatorian  of your eighth grade class…

Of 12…

It seems less impressive.

Thoughts like that don’t hit you until your late 30s or so, because prior to that you know everything in the world. Sure, you put a few pennies into electrical sockets,but that doesn’t prove anything. Why would someone electrify a slot so OBVIOUSLY meant for a penny? Electricians are stupid.

Once the inkling that you might not know everything starts to creep, suddenly, evidence is everywhere. It’s like that Bones episode where you guess the killer in the first ten minutes. You know that one? The one that was on from 2005 until the last time it aired?

Mounting evidence I might not be that bright #1:

I hit me yesterday, in the shower, that I had listened to “Gangnam Style” in the shower every day for two weeks. Not only is it an empty piece of pop drivel but:

  1. I bang my elbow on the shower wall every time I try to do the “giddy-up horsey” move. Any idiot knows you can’t properly pretend to throw a lasso in a shower stall and that escaping cattle rarely hide in a shower stall. Still, I persist.
  2. The “slide across the floor” move is actually quite dangerous in a shower and you can only move 2 inches before moving back to the starting point and beginning again.
  3. I now actually believe I’ve translated the Korean phonetically including such moving lyrics as:  ”Summer Hair!”  ”Silence is golden…” and ”Korean I don’t know.”  (That last line being the only bit that is certainly correct.)
  4.  I actually drew a picture on my Aqua Notes of a dragon (one of the few things I can draw) to ACCOMPANY me during my shower performances.

Mounting evidence I might not be that bright.

Smart people don’t do things like this.  Stephen Hawking doesn’t dance in his shower to terrible foreign pop songs.

Ok, bad example, but you get what I mean.


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