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By Survivingana @survivingana

I talked to my friend this morning and bless her for her words of wisdom and guidance. As a mother she feels the same. How far do you continue to medicate, when do you stop the medication to allow recovery to be recovery, are we applying too many bandaids in the form of structure and medication? Big questions, very few answers. And we are just parents, at the end of the chain and often in the dark.

Thank you to, to my readers for your comments. They too help and shed more light.

I have decided I am going to talk to Sophie’s counselor and dietitian. They know her and the formation of the anorexia intimately. I don’t want them to go against the psychiatrist, I just want their input as to how they see my daughter, her anxieties, the way the anorexia reacts with her, fears and capabilities. I fully trust all Sophie’s team and their advice, but in the end I am her mother and her long term health and safety is paramount. Sophie has no ability to make an informed decision and she wants to ignore having to make one. As far as she is concerned, she wants the drugs – anything to keep reality at bay and not have to deal with anxieties and fear.

But seriously, that what life is about. Is learning to cope, adapt, be flexible, make choices and decisions based on events. And whilst the she is doing that to a certain extent, the medication block a lot of the feelings. It numbs, plays down events, and at times, makes it easy to say’ nah don’t want to deal with that’.

I’m a realist. If she needs it, then she needs it. I am not about to block my daughters recovery – ever. I also know that her anxieties are going to be the telling point. Of interest this week, a research article on Science of Eating Disorders - Factors Associated with Recovery from Anorexia Nervosa. It is a very interesting read, particularly if you purge, have high anxiety or impulsivity. These 3 factors whether alone or together, create a high risk, harder long term recovery path. This bit in particular is exactly what I voiced in my last post “Moreover, anxiety disorders tend to run in families with eating disorder patients and occur prior to onset of AN, suggesting that anxiety might increase the risk of developing an ED and subsequently decrease chances of recovery. I would also think that it suggests there is genetic overlap between factors that predispose individuals to AN and anxiety disorders.” In other words perhaps earlier medication might have stopped her developing the anorexia. But that would be silly and it can be just as silly to over medicate at the other end.

Like all things, I cannot nor can Sophie’s team, put in place procedures that will always protect her. At some stage she has to take this herself, medicated or not. Our job is to prepare her to cope with life and anxieties, stress, trauma, major events. Teach her skills and abilities, fill her toolbox to the brim. We should be doing that now, but instead Sophie chooses not to see her counselor and is allowed to get away with that choice, she is allowed to drop her dietitian, she wants to drop her psychiatrist. Instead she is given medication to keep her ‘safe’. Where is the long term in that? Where is the maturity in that? Or is the decision to medicate until she is ready to make the break herself?

Anyway enough. I will talk to her team this week and see what I learn.


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