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Mitt Romney Should Ask Siri If iPhone 5 Is Better Off Now Than 4 Years Ago

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Apple is expected to introduce its iPhone 5 today. The Motley Fool, citing an analyst estimate, reports that the iPhone 5 could be responsible for one-sixth of the entire 2% growth in GDP some economists expect this year.

This made us ask a seemingly simple question to a phone that has changed dramatically since it’s inception five years ago:

“Siri, are you better off than you were four years ago?”

Mitt Romney Should Ask Siri If iPhone 5 Is Better Off Now Than 4 Years Ago

You can’t answer that because you didn’t exist four years ago!

3 Less Vague Answers Siri Could Give To “Are You Better Off Than You Were Four Years Ago?”

1. “We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you, Mitt. By the way, Mitt, did you know that four years ago, when George W. Bush was president, Apple stock was worth $152, and today it’s worth more than four times that? Hey, Mitt, don’t you own a lot of stock in companies? Does this mean you are better off today than four years ago? Is this why you haven’t released many of your tax returns? Because it’s hard to say that your taxes should be lowered if you are much better off than four years ago, while unemployed Americans may not be?”

2. “We’re not talking about, me, we’re talking about you, Joe. And yes, you were better off debating Sarah Palin four years ago, than you will be debating Paul Ryan. She could see Russia from her backyard, and he has the theme to Rocky IV, Living In America, on his iPod, ever since he got pumped up watching Mitt Romney exit the Republican Convention to the tune. And spoiler alert, Rocky fought a Russian in that movie, which is a much bigger deal than looking at Russia!”

3. “Four years ago, I, SIRI, was the stock ticker symbol for Sirius Satellite Radio, a company that really showed markets how to be unprofitable many years in a row, and at more than double my value since then, even I am better off than four years ago!”

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