Last week was all about love stories.
George Clooney
SETTLED for his UN lawyer multi millionaire humanitarian stunner who is all things uber
stylish and shit but is still not me...
Don't worry George, our time will come. We will meet over a steaming Nespresso, both somehow magically single in painless and tragedy-free circumstances.
Last week also signalled my 15th Wedding anniversary - I was a total child bride y'all. Just so we're clear for anyone who may be attempting to do any sort of mathematical equations to determine how my 'perpetually 26' self could be celebrating a 15th wedding anniversary.
The kids were off staying with the #1Grandparents so I could keep working during school holidays without having to pay double what I earn in Vacation Care for three kids. And so we figured we should probably do something to mark such a milestone.
Fifteen years of #1Hubby being, hands down, the luckiest and most blessed man in the history of the known universe.
My gift to him was, of course, myself - the gift that keeps on giving, and has done for 15 years.
I casually suggested to him that, in return, the traditional anniversary gift for 15 years was big, fat, blinging diamonds.
He laughed his arse off and said he was pretty confident it was whitegoods.
Bastard.
So I found the hotel with the cheapest Club Rooms (because, hello, it is all about the free booze and the sport of cramming as much of it in during the Club cocktail hours to ensure that you have drunk back at least half of the cost of your room. The other half comes in the outrageously overpriced breakfast the next morning that you also get included in the Club Room price).
We arrive, and find that we have been upgraded to a King Spa Suite.
As a true sign of how totes romantic we are after all of these years, #1Hubby nearly shits himself with delight over the fact that there are 2 TVs. No fighting over The Real Housewives of the world versus sports.
It takes a millisecond for him to question the lounge area - and I quote -
"OMG....is that lounge a pull out sofa bed? Because if it is, it's mine! OMG OMG it is! I'm calling it! It's mine!"
I played it cool and pretended to sound disinterested and a little disappointed, while in my head chanting "YESSSS! I get the king size bed to myself! Huzzah!"
Soon after, the phone rings.
It is the delightful Jacob from Concierge, enquiring as to whether the room is suitable (2 TV's and a pull out sofa bed? Why yes it is, thank you very much Jacob...).
Jacob then cements his place in my heart by asking if now would be a good time to send up the complimentary bottle of bubbly to celebrate our anniversary?
But of course, Jacob.
He signs off by wishing us a very happy 15th anniversary, and instructing us to call him personally if we need anything, anything at all.
Thank you Jacob, and don't you hesitate to contact me should you need a blood transfusion, kidney, or wish to be included in my last will and testament.
He laughs as if I'm joking.
All of this has flown clear over #1Hubby's head as he is working.
WORKING.
I shit you not, and here is the proof:
2 computers, 2 phones, 2 drinks.
Overindulgent Show off.
So I pop the bubbly and kick back to watch some TV.
It just oozes romance, right?
Eventually, #1Hubby surfaces from a call and requests a glass of our special celebratory anniversary bubbly, and so I begrudgingly pour him a glass:
Guess which glass is his?
We pass the afternoon in this very manner.
I sipped bubbly while taking in some local culture:
I can tell you that Hope is considering taking Liam back. Brooke is now aware that Bill had Ridge pushed off the helicopter into the water.
And also, I have a list of the top fat burning herbs as recommended by The Doctors, that I will probably never buy and instead whine about how expensive they are.
Anniversary Cultural Activities:
Took in a show (B&B) and indulged in some health and well being (The Doctors)
Finally, Club Room cocktail hour(s) arrive and we take about 4 minutes after the official start to get ready - lest we arrive first, right on opening, and appear desperate.
#1Hubby celebrating the WHITEGOODS ANNIVERSARY.
Blurry pic as I was too busy harassing him to hurry up and stop wasting valuable wine time on trivial matters such as ironing (I've never ever understood ironing)
Finally, some one-on-one time with #1Hubby in the Club lounge. The conversation flows, with lulls filled by my requests for him to go get more cheese from the cheeseboard (so he can look greedy, rather than my ladylike self).
It was going swimmingly, until a former political leader entered the room, and once again I lost #1Hubby - this time to his fan girling.
I pretended to be knowledgeable on all things politics and have a remote clue who he was talking about. Eventually I gave up and Googled the guy.
I left the room for 3 minutes to use the facilities, and by the time I returned, #1Hubby was gushing over the politician. Fawning attention over him, hanging on his every word.
I go to the bar and enquire whether Jacob from Concierge is still on duty.
Apparently not, which is a shame, because I was going to request he come up to the lounge and be my stand in husband while my real one made eyes with the former political leader.
I'm certain that Jacob would have been up to the task of smiling nostalgically as I reminisced over our wedding, my non-proposal (totally have to check if I've already blogged that one), the birth of our first child, our holidays and highlights.
When the free drinks stopped flowing and #1Hubby's other date left the room, we decided to hit a local bar.
From there on in I don't really have much to whine about.
The end.
