Dating Magazine

Men Have Feelings...who Knew?

By Elliemendz @EllieMendz
Hey There:
Over the past few weeks I've been getting lectured by several guys because apparently I have no heart and been hurting their feelings. I've been going over how to write this so I don't look like a callous promiscuous bitch, but I guess there's no easy way to do that.
Last month I started seeing a guy and I honestly thought it would turn into a relationship, my hopes were high when I should have listened to the little voice warning me it would turn out badly. Instead I went ahead and announced to several people, including my Mom, that I might be getting a boyfriend. But my status never changed on Facebook, so it was never official to the world.
When it came time to end the dating, of course I put all the blame on myself, I won't say why it had to end, all I'll say is that I had the same problem as Samantha when she found the perfect guy at the end of Season 1 who did not measure up to her requirements and now I'm like the 2nd episode in Season 2 where I'm getting so frustrated with the guy that I might just tell him the real reason why I don't want to see him. (See episode list)
But I digress, while I had The Conversation, with the "it's not you, it's me" bit and everything, he then proceeded to tell me of each time I did or said something that hurt his feelings. And seriously, he's very sensible, and most of the times I either had no clue or just assumed he would be like a normal guy and not take offense. So I had to say sorry, several times until he finished with his list...good thing I only saw him a month!
As for the other guys, I've always thought men just preferred to avoid touchy-feely talks especially when it came to casual relationships. But no, I've been having to give explanations, apologize and give Them closure...and these to guys who were nothing more than friends with benefits. And I never win, whether I tell them things are going downhill or not, they don't seem to listen or remember, but when it's over it's my fault.
Anyway, from now on any casual relationship I start will begin with a disclaimer:
  1. This is not and will not become a relationship.
  2. This is an "at-will" FWB situation, either party can terminate it at any time for any reason.
  3. Please specify the form of termination notification. Would you prefer: a text, a call, an e-mail, a talk over coffee or dinner, or just thrift away and stop contact.
  4. If you want this to last longer, once in awhile communicate with me as a person and don't request sex every single freaking time we communicate. (That's just like a puppy always humping your leg when you pet it, after awhile you'll stop petting it)

Now that I think about it, after I finish posting this I'll send a note to a friend I have in Germany. We're always talking smack about European football teams, he hates my team (Manchester United) and I hate his (Barcelona). I better make sure I'm not hurting his feelings.

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