Adults don’t make decisions which affect one person – they impact everyone. Whether it’s the kids, your siblings or elderly parents, there is going to be consequences as soon as you pull the trigger. Understanding this is essential as it brings a level of focus which might be there already. Let’s face facts and admit it can be easy to do things without giving it the attention it deserves.
Of course, with the power comes responsibility and that can be frightening. What if you get it wrong and make a mistake? How will you feel knowing you could have been better? The answer is terrible. Nobody wants to hurt the ones they love, especially when they have given a lot to keep them safe. However, someone has to take charge as life rolls on regardless.
If you feel as if you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, it’s because that’s your exact location. Still, making life decisions which impact the entire family doesn’t have to be problematic with the right advice. Continue reading to find out more.
Do It Together
One of the biggest mistakes anybody can make is the belief that they are doing it for another person’s wellbeing. It doesn’t matter if the individual is a family member or not as it isn’t your decision to make. Therefore, they should at least get a say before you pull something which affects their lifestyle.
Kids are the prime examples as they are too young and immature to decide what’s best for them. However, they understand what they want and are able to vocalize it when asked. What the majority of parents do is to give them orders and then get the kids in line. Psychologytoday.com says this a bad way to teach them how to make decisions. Plus, children rebel because they hate the decision and all hell breaks loose.
Giving them the opportunity to share their opinions and thoughts on a subject should help you see the big picture. Even if you disagree, you can explain why you’ve done it and your reasoning.
Find A Middle Ground
Decisions, like life itself, aren’t black and white. While you want to do one thing, another family member wants to do another. Typically, lines are drawn and no one wants to give in unless they get their way. As a rule, it’s a terrible way to decide as it causes tension and animosity. Rather than getting into battle formations, you can find a way to appease everybody.
Think about your elderly parents. They might be healthy at the moment yet that can change in an instant. If they need help, will you be able to pick up the slack? Will they be willing to move into a home? No tends to be the answers unless there is an assisted living option. Visiting McKnightPlace.com proves why these facilities are the best for both parties. Children get to give their moms and dads the care they need without feeling guilty, and parents keep their independence.
Granted, not every middle ground is easy to find, but that’s why you have to communicate as a family.
Get Nostalgic
Living in the past is a bad idea if you’re doing it all the time. On the flip side, remembering the moments which shaped you as a person are essential as they provide the strength to carry on. Recalling a life lesson is often the push adults need to move forward and make a decision. Yes, there is some irony in the fact that you need to look back to advance.
Specifically, it’s a wise move to think about a person and ask yourself “what would they have done?” Although it’s you who has to be the strong one, it can validate the choice you have made or are about to make. This is especially true if you’re trying to follow their message and lead by example. So, find someone in your mind’s eye that was strong and caring and put their family first and try and tackle it from their viewpoint.
You’ll find this method makes it easier for a number of reasons, from offering a second opinion to taking a step back. In the end, whatever helps keep you on point is a bonus.
Play The Percentages
When you have dozens of options running through your head, it’s almost impossible to choose one. Whatever you do, somebody is going to criticize; it’s an occupational hazard of being in charge. To give yourself an out, it’s best to play the percentages as the numbers never lie.
Here’s an example. You’re thinking about moving houses and have asked everyone to vote. The majority of votes are to stay. It might seem like a flimsy way to decide on your future, yet you have to consider the family might have thought about issues you didn’t. Anyway, to hold a vote and then say you’re doing the opposite isn’t democratic. After all, everyone’s opinion counts.
At the very least, you should consider the percentages. While they don’t show the whole picture, they do provide a lot of context for the decision making process.
Ask For Help
Grown-ups, particularly the oldest, think they have to be strong and take charge. No one else will so the burden has been laid at your feet. The problem with this is that you might not be the best person for the job. And, you’ll understand this better than anyone.
Instead of commendably carrying on, you can ask someone else to take the reins. For one thing, they might enjoy it because they’re organized. For another, they might realize you need help and step in on your behalf. If you want to be involved without doing all of the heavy lifting, then ask one or two family members to pick up the slack. With something like the death of a loved one, all the siblings should be part of the process whether one has power of attorney or not.
Please don’t see asking for help as weak because it’s the complete opposite.
