Dating Magazine

Love & Marriage, Can You Have One Without the Other?

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie

Love & Marriage, Can You Have One Without the Other?This morning as I was commuting to work I stumbled upon a few tweets about the upcoming wedding season along with a post about living together versus marriage. That’s when it hit me that I hadn’t attended a wedding in years. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard my friends claim that someone they knew were getting married. Other than a friend whose niece got married, I know no one. I’m on Facebook several times a day and never see a post about anybody getting married, so it made me really wonder if marriage is still important these days. Do people still marry as much as they did when I was younger?

I remember when I was a teenager; I use to stare at wedding magazines and look at all the pictures of the blushing brides and their beautiful dresses. They were beautifully poised as they awaited their prince to come and sweep them off their feet. I wanted to be one of those women in the beautiful white gowns adorned with beads & embellishments and long ass 10 ft. trains. In my late teens and early twenties, I developed the “if you can live with me you can marry me mentality” and never really approved of shacking up. Well I can boldly say, boy was I wrong and sometimes living together can save you from disaster. In fact, I would most likely live with someone first and then marry later, I’m in no rush. As a 36 year old woman, I’ve learned that commitment is more than words on a piece of paper or vows spoken in front of others. Commitment is a promise that’s made by 2 people and the true character that it takes to honor that commitment lies within the person, not on paper.

A wedding ceremony can be a hefty expense and honestly I think some people are more in love with the idea of marriage than their actual partner. Personally, I would rather have a small ceremony on a beach with a few friends and some tequila, “BAM” we got a party! This is coming strictly from my point of view as someone who’s been married before who had a nice ceremony complete with the dress. A second time around for me honestly doesn’t require that much but for a first timer you deserve the wedding of your dreams. Just make sure you love your partner more than you love the dress you picked out. So can you have one without the other? Yes you can, I’m pretty sure they’re some unmarried couples out here who love each other more than some couples that are married. I think that 2 people can wholeheartedly love each other and not be consumed with the urgent need to get married and that there are plenty of people who are married who never loved each other to begin with or don’t love each other anymore; They just cohabitate. Yes, you can definitely have one without the other some people have love with no marriage and some have marriage with no love.♥


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