So many changes happen after you give birth, your no longer just responsible for you, you now have a baby and somehow this cute little bundle, turns your world upside down. Losing friends after having a baby appears to be very common and most mums I speak too can relate all too well to this.
It’s been so long now, 14 years to be exact when I became a mother. I had friends then, was the life and soul of the party and I had designer clothes and money in my purse.
I remember those times well.
I now have 6 children, no social life and I wear the same pair of jeans I did 8 years ago (hey I am trying to budget here).
The only parties I attend these days are when one of my 6 kids has a birthday and my clothes are more vintage than designer, I have had them that long.
What about friends?
I can’t think I even have the same circle of friends I did back then.
Times change and so do people.
I often see “old friends” and wonder why we ever were so close, as we have now become distant strangers.
I do miss having friends as I used too, losing friends after having a baby can leave you feeling alone.
I no longer have anyone who I can just pick up the phone too and rant and rave too, I do but I always think
Will I wake her kids if I phone so late?
What is she’s sleeping, it is after midnight?
I don’t phone people often, the minute I pick up that phone I just know one of the kids will desperately need something like their life depended on it.
Phone calls and children do not go well together, I end up sounding like I have Tourette’s. When you’re in the middle of a serious convocation with a friend and you suddenly start shouting -for god sake get down, stop shouting, stop throwing, sit still , get off me – the person on the other end is thinking what the hell and soon makes an excuse to go.
I don’t really go out on girly nights, I have always made excuses why I could not go, that friends stopped asking.
I think we all lose friends when we have a baby as that baby becomes our life and we do nothing but eat, sleep, worry and talk about baby.
Losing friends after having a baby is most common with those friends who do not have children themselves, as we no longer have that much in common. They find it difficult to accept that we have changed and our priorities have also changed.
I have also found that I made new friends, people I could relate too more, most of these friends also had children and could understand if I had to drop out or re arrange a coffee.
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I have also learned that true friends stay around no matter what.
Did you start losing friends after having a baby? Share your own experience with me…
