Dating Magazine

Looking For The One: 5 Reasons Why People Won’t Commit

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie
Photocredit: madamenoire.com

Photocredit: madamenoire.com

How many times have we given of ourselves unconditionally to someone who hadn’t rightfully earned it?  We assume that because we are showing someone how good we are they will automatically say “hey, that’s a good person” let me hold on to him/her. We assume that by doing these things this person will somehow decide to commit and validate a relationship. Well, as I learned a long time ago, I can sum of the word assume in one phrase; ass out of you not me. Yes, we do these things thinking a relationship is in the near future and end up feeling like an ass! However, there are 5 reasons why people won’t commit after you’ve put what you thought was your best foot forward.

You talk too much

Sometimes we talk too much! Yes, I said talk too much. We share too much information that scares the hell out of someone. Sharing too much too soon or sharing information that doesn’t need to be shared can often lead to someone running away. No one needs to know that you knocked the hell out of your last partner with a frying pan. Now that I think about it, if you’re hitting people with frying pans you may need to be single for awhile. Someone talking too much can sometimes be a blessing because I was really glad when a guy told me

You’re fresh on the market

If I go on a few dates with someone and they continuously talk about their ex, I pretty much sum it up as being a rebound effect. Sometimes we unconsciously talk about past relationships thinking that it’s ok. You may think that the person you’re dating is lending a listening ear, but in reality most of them if not all is thinking this person is not over their ex and I really don’t want to hear this shit; don’t changed chapters if you haven’t completely finished the previous one.

Pressure Cooker

From experience, no one including myself likes to be pressured into anything. There’s a difference between having a candid conversation about where things are going and constantly nagging about where you want things to go. Dating is a pretty simple process.  You either meet the one or you don’t! If you’re dating someone for an extended period of time and it doesn’t go anywhere. Move on! Pressuring someone never works out. However, if you’re looking to get rid of someone then by all means turn up the heat.

Bad Experiences

People who have had their heart crushed and ran over by a semi truck may be reluctant to travel down that road again. Unfortunately, some people never truly get over bad experiences. They put a guard up around their heart and operate cautiously when it comes to letting someone in. We’ve all had bad experiences but some have had it much worst then I or anyone else can imagine. You would think that after such a bad experience we would stay out of the dating arena but everyone at some point desires companionship regardless of their inability to commit. If we can’t get over the past we will be no good for the future. You have to do the work to mend your own heart.

And last but not least

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free

I’ve read many articles on why people won’t commit but none have mentioned this. Why would anyone want to solidify, validate, or commit to someone who has already given them undue rights? If we’re already treating someone like a partner and haven’t made commitment a necessary step then he/she will become accustomed to that treatment without being required to be in a relationship with you. You should not be washing someone clothes and you’re not in a relationship!!!!!

I didn’t feel the need to mention “they’re seeing someone else” because really that’s the most obvious answer. Sometimes there’s no real reason why people won’t commit. I chose the popular 5 based off my conversations with men. Transitioning from dating to a relationship should be something that happens naturally. It shouldn’t be much of an effort if it’s meant to be.


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