Mock me if you must, but I used to watch Friends (and loved it) all the time (you gotta love reruns). One funny scene always stuck out in my mind -- two of the romanically coupled friends are having a bit of a heated -- but humorous -- exchange and one refers to the other as The Riddler for asking so many questions. These days I'm questioning myself quite a bit. Holy Q&A, Batman!
As my friends and I turn 40, I'm noticing that my reaction to "the big four-oh" is quite different than that of my peers. I'm feeling joyful and excited to be in this new decade (and obviously proud of it, since I'm announcing my age in so public a forum). And I'm using it as an opportunity to do a little inventory. That's where the questions come in. Why am I the way I am?
We've all been in yoga class going through the motions without much thought to what we were doing. Muscle memory takes over while we're thinking about what we're going to eat for the next meal, running through our to do list, and worrying about what we're going to do after yoga practice. We don't ask ourselves, am I here? If not, why am I not here?
I don't buy the whole "can't teach an old dog new tricks" mentality. I think you can't teach an unconscious dog new tricks. These days I'm using my Riddler skills to question why I am the way that I am in the world. I'm questioning everything and finding that I've got a lot of habits, fictional stories, and old programming in my head. I'm blessed in that my time on the mat and the meditation cushion has enabled me to have glimpses of witness consciousness every now and again. I'll often have a moment when I actually watch myself do or say something and it feels like I'm an anthropologist watching some obscure tribe function in daily life. I get curious about my behavior (often I'm either amused or horrified by it).
The fun in living the questions is that you realize that you can be another way in the world if you so desire. There's always a choice. We make choices every day. In fact, we make dozens, if not more choices a day. Sometimes our choices are like the yoga practice I mentioned above -- on autopilot. We choose things and people and ways of being that are familiar and comfortable to us -- even if those choices don't make us feel good.
Recently, I realized that I was choosing something not because I wanted it but because I had some ancient story in my head about why it was "the right" choice. You'd think the bad feelings I had around it would have tipped me off, but...When I asked myself why I was doing it and if this choice was allowing me to be the person that I want to be in the world, the answer was a clear "make a different choice."
Today as I was out and about, I saw this bumper sticker:
There's an unlimited number of questions. You only need to ask.
And if you feel like you're spinning a bit out of control, check out this wonderful quiz to determine what your Emotional Body Type is where you're acting from. As they say, knowledge is power.
Namaste!
