Live

I made this salvation bead necklace (color meanings below) to remind myself to just live everyday as best as I know how and remember I always  have God by my side. I try to remember everyone is going through something so if they are rude, inconsiderate, angry, etc, I do try to just ignore it and move on. I may go home and tell hubby “Hey this jerk...”, do my little rant, and then I move on. We all have bad days, right? I completely understand those. I have had my fair share lately. What I don't like is when it's consistent and if you don't like me just because, I can't really help that. I'm me. I do always strive to be a good person and polite to others, so why do I feel it's a wasted effort to be polite to someone who just acts like I'm dirt under their shoe? I could go on and on but I'm choosing not to. I really do want to keep this blog about my son and the journey to find out what he has and how we are always going to give him the best life he can possibly have. 
As I mentioned in my last entry, there was more calcium in his urine than normal so the diagnosis of Lowe is creeping closer and closer. It is hard to want it NOT to be true. I've been told to give Noah Pediasure and as much solid food as he'll take. I have. I even went the extra step myself and got the Pediasure with extra fiber. Well, that did him wonders....but almost too much. So, I also bought the regular Pediasure to see if it would make it more “normal” and the only thing it did is make him constipated....again. Seriously?  What bothers me is the doctors didn't tell me to get the Pediasure with extra fiber. That was all me. So, they must have thought the regular would be just fine too. Could it really be that I switched the two? It's even the same product! The only difference was flavor and no extra fiber. So, I think I'll be calling the doctor again on Monday to find out why that could be or his nutritionist from ECI. Just so darn frustrating!!!!!!! I hate taking a step forward just to go back again. 
I lost it last night. I just broke down and cried for at least 20 minutes. Sometimes I think it's needed to let yourself release pent-up frustrations and worries and if it's in the form of crying until you can't anymore, then, cry on! It actually started when Noah was starting to cry because he was tired and ready for bed. I picked him up and he stopped crying and just settled his head into my shoulder while I carried him up the stairs. That's what started it and I couldn't stop. I sat in his rocking chair watching him drift off to sleep until I could stop crying. All I want, for always, is for my son to be happy. Right now, he's the happiest boy I've ever met and that is a great blessing. I pray he's always this happy and that he lives for a very long time and gives this syndrome (or whatever it may be) a real kick in its tushy! 
I finally got some decent sleep last night without either kiddo waking me for one reason or another. I, at least, feel human today. Too bad it's calling for heavy thunderstorms. Thinking about that alone, makes me want to snuggle back in bed and wait for the thunder to start. So calming. I hope everyone has a great day ahead of them. I'm going to try and do the same. Maybe we'll go down the street and get a movie from the Redbox. I got my free coupon code texted to me the other day and I need to use it. Come home and snuggle on the couch with some popcorn and let Hollywood entertain us for a couple of hours. It could very well be just a lazy day while this heavy rain passes through. Sounds good to me. 
The meaning of the Salvation beads: Red-Jesus shed his BLOOD on the cross to pay for our sins (Romans 5:8) White-CLEAN-when we receive Jesus our sin is washed away (Acts 3) Blue-HOLY SPIRIT-He leads and guides us into truth (Romans 10:9-11) Black–SIN-all have sinned (John 3) Green-GROWTH-we must grow in Christ Gold-HEAVEN-when we die, we will go to Heaven where there are streets of gold (Revelation 21:1-3)
Stay in the moment,
Jenna