I write often about how past baggage can ruin relationships. Today my thoughts are on the negative character flaws that we must check at the front door in order to have a successful relationship. The interesting thing about people is that some people know their flaws and work on them, some have no idea that they have flaws, and lastly some know their flaws and refuse to work on them because they simply don’t give a damn. Let me assure you that no one, including yours truly, is perfect! So, with that being said (or in this case written), I would like to shed light on certain characteristics that can ultimately ruin your relationship or whatever possibilities you have for a relationship.
I’m right, you’re wrong….end of story
Failure to accept the fact that you’re not right all the time will ultimately lead to the demise of anything. I honestly don’t like friends who refuse to accept that they could be wrong. Although I sometimes don’t like to admit it, I’ve been known to be wrong on a few (very, very, very few) occasions. Sometimes we have to admit we were wrong even when we don’t want to. Being able to admit fault is a healthy trait for relationships. It enables smooth communication and makes having a conversation bearable without someone imagining duct taping the others mouth shut. When you can’t admit fault you fail to learn from past mistakes. Think about it!
My friends say I should….
Your friends don’t have to know all of your business. They should not dictate the inner workings of your relationship, nor should they be able to. Learn to be your own person who can make solid decisions about your situation. It has been my experience that people give advice based on what’s going on in their life at that time. If your Good Judy is having a hard time with her current boo her viewpoint of your situation will not be too positive. This also applies to people who have recently become single and those who’ve had a few failed relationships. There is no written rule that states all your friends have to know everything. You only need one trusted confidante who is able to give you sound advice based on your situation, not theirs. You will end up totally discombobulated!
Unappreciative
Have you ever done anything for anybody and felt your good gesture wasn’t appreciated? The feeling sucks don’t it? By not being appreciative for the little things, you ruin any chances you have for big things. I hear women complain all the time about what some man did that wasn’t good enough, creative enough, or special enough. Stop whining!!!! If someone does something nice for you whether big or small it shows that you were thought of. When I was dating a guy previously, he surprised me by getting my oil changed and filling my tank up. Now some may feel like he was suppose to do this but no he wasn’t. Plus, have you seen gas prices lately? Next time you feel like someone didn’t do enough. Ask yourself, what have I done to deserve such a grand gesture? Don’t overlook the positives by expecting too much and appreciate the little things.
I can’t deal with this right now
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people don’t acknowledge that I said or did something to hurt their feelings when it actually happened. Not weeks, or months later because I honestly won’t take you seriously. After all, I’m nowhere near perfect myself. Don’t suffer from the “I can’t deal with this” syndrome. Why? Because by not acknowledging that something was said or done that hurt your feelings or made you angry you enable that person to continue doing those things Speak up as situations arise, otherwise you will snap off one day over something petty and become a raving lunatic. Your boo won’t know why you’re so angry.
In other words, be prepared to admit fault, be your own person, be appreciative, and speak up.
