Leave Preconceived Notions Behind.

I’m always saying, “positive attracts positive, negative attracts negative.”  It’s such a simple concept, but it is often lost on many people.  If you go into any situation expecting it to be something, it’s going to be something… whether it’s good or bad, happy or annoying.

One of the most important things we can do for ourselves is to observe and listen, and to pay attention to what we are feeling and thinking before moving forward.  Are we judging before knowing?  Are we cynical without actually experiencing something?  Is that one person that usually gets under our skin going to get under our skin again? What we take away from a situation usually starts before we are actually in the situation.  It begins on our way there.

When we begin with the thought that someone will annoy us or we’ll have a bad time… that is what will happen.  We’re looking for those things to reinforce our beliefs about “that person” or “that event”  It justifies our negative.

Probably best explained in this wonderful parable:

The Town Up Ahead

Once, a man pulled up into a gas station in the country, and asked the gas station attendant, “What are the people like in the next town up ahead?” The attendant said, “What were the people like in the town you just came from?” “Awful people,” the man responded. “Rude, cold, hostile, abrupt, unfriendly. They wouldn’t give me the time of day.” “Well,” said the attendant, “I’m sorry to say it, but you’re going to find exactly the same sort of people in the next town up ahead.” A bit later, another driver pulled in, heading in the same direction as the first. “What are the people like in the next town up ahead?” the second man asked. The attendant said, “What were the people like in the town you just came from?” “Wonderful people,” the second man responded. “Friendly, warm, helpful, patient, kind. They went out of their way to help a stranger.” “Well,” said the attendant, “I’m happy to tell you that you’re going to find exactly the same kind of people in the next town up ahead.” .

It’s not always easy to cast preconceived notions aside, it’s something that requires constant reinforcement.  When you find yourself falling into that pit of negative thought… bring your focus to something else, to the present.  You might find yourself slipping back there  – 1000 times, but just bring your attention, your thought, back to the present.  When you find yourself sinking in a sea of worry – bring your focus to the present.  Do something – clean, call a friend (but don’t talk about being worried!), do some gardening, play with your kids, walk your dog – take your mind from the negative and enjoy something positive.  Don’t waste your minutes every day on negative things, it’s only going to sap your energy!

Who knows what you’ll find down the road!  It will be whatever you make of it!