Family Magazine

Kids Birthday Party Dilemma – Being Excluded from Another Party

By Stevezany @stevezany

Kids birthday party dilemma – Being excluded from another party - RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany

So you’re thinking of having a birthday party for your child. What would you do if your kid’s current circle of friends exceeded 30 children? Would you invite them all? In all likelihood, no.

You’d have to start excluding because perhaps your house isn’t big enough, or you don’t want that many kids taking over your home or maybe having that many children at your kids birthday party wouldn’t be economical.

Of course, other parents sometimes have to make the same types of decisions.

I talk with moms all the time at kids parties who tell me they had to keep their birthday party numbers down and couldn’t invite everyone their child wanted to.

The tough thing is sometimes that means your child is the one who gets excluded from their friend’s birthday party list.

It can be an awful feeling and has happened to all of us parents at one time or another when we were kids.

In a previous post, I advocated for keeping the numbers of guests down to ensure your child enjoys their party as much as possible and to keep things manageable. I stand by those recommendations.

Nevertheless, the issue of being excluded from a kids party may is one that parents must deal with from time to time.

A recent report by CNN advises that if your child is excluded from a party for kids and brings up the matter to you, acknowledge their remarks, but avoid dwelling on it too much.

Ashley Merryman the co-author of “NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children” says it’s best to send a message to your child that communicates the importance of brushing the dirt off their knees and moving on. There is other fun stuff to do. While, it would have been nice to be invited to the birthday party, someone else will have a kids party in the near future, in all likelihood.

Many moms believe that the affects of being excluded from a kids birthday party pass quickly anyway.

“Kids’ relationships change from week to week. They’re kids!” says mom Rani Morrison.

And mom Kerry Quirin adds “Friendships at such a young age are constantly evolving. Therefore, if my child wasn’t invited to a party, I would take the opportunity to teach my child how to roll with the punches. It will feel bad, but in the big scheme of things, will it really throw my child’s life off course? No.”

Being excluded from a kids birthday party (or even excluding a friend from one) has a silver lining — the teachable moment.

If you’re the one who had to do the excluding “You can talk to you child about not talking about his or her birthday party at school when they can’t invite the whole class.” That helps to prevent others from feeling hurt says Jen Klein, a mother of three kids.

And, if your child was the one excluded from another kid’s party, while the experience might be temporarily painful for your child, it’s an opportunity to help him or her learn the value of being gracious when they’re not included and the importance of being inclusive whenever possible.

Above all, support your child and their feelings. When it comes to a kid’s tender emotions sometimes it’s best to just listen and be a sponge.

RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany - Nickelodeon Parents Pick Award Winner!

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