One of the number one things that has made me unhappy over the years, is beating up on myself for my irrational thoughts. You know…those sneaky thoughts, that we know full-well are a little bit crazy and unnecessary. Thoughts like 'nobody wants to be my friend because I have a mono-brow!' Actually that might be true, bad example, but you get the drift.
My inner thought has always been 'you aren't good enough.' And they hurt don't they? So we stuff them down as far as we can push them.
But they don’t go away. It is kind of like the closet in the spare room. We stuff it full with the things we know don’t serve us. But one day, the latch gives way and all the useless stuff falls out at a very inappropriate moment. If you are like me, it’s usually over something ridiculous. I once had a full-scale meltdown in front of a parking meter that wouldn’t accept my dollar. ‘Take it!!! Damn it, taaaake iiit!!!!’
In my experience, when you have those days and you feel a little blue, it is often because some irrational thought is swinging off one of the synapses in your brain (sorry, I’m a neuroscientist, can’t help it). And when this happens, try something different. Try not to ignore it, acknowledge it. It has no power over you, unless you let it. Acknowledge that it is irrational and makes no sense (the dishwasher is broken, the universe is out to get me!!!), and then be kind to yourself. Instead of labelling yourself oversensitive or pathetic or stupid or weak, just acknowledge that you are human. You have some silly thoughts, and we all do. But there is no evidence to back them up (except in the case of the mono-brow).
Acknowledge that you are a complicated wondrous being, with all sorts of crazy wondrous thoughts, some of which are completely unique to you and based on your own life experiences. You think, like nobody else in the world, completely. You then might realize that you are just a little bit special (actually quite a lot bit special). And then hopefully, you and I will leave that poor parking meter well alone.
Much love,
Your Sweet Apple XOX
Ps. To those with a mono-brow, I'm just kidding. I'm sure evolutionary wise, this stood you in good stead back in the day. Why have two that merely protect your eyes from dust, when you can protect your whole face!
