I guess that life just would not be life if it’s path wasn’t strewn with situations, events and people to irk and frustrate us. I get frustrated by many things (trust me
) but something that I have come to understand is what can make a big difference to the outcome is my perception about the issue that’s pissing me off AND how I deal with it. A reframe and change of attitude can make all the difference when things just aren’t going your way. Frustration and annoyance comes when your expectations of a situation just aren’t met by the reality of it all. Sometimes this can be the result of factors you just can NOT control, and that’s the way it is. Still doesn’t make it easier, does it?
No-one likes to feel frustrated but the truth is that sometimes the world throws you a curve ball ….. and sometimes even more than one at a time when it seems to bloody rain with them (oh, and those lemons too, you know about the saying that tells you to make lemonade from them, right?) I’m no saint on this one, believe me! I’ve certainly done my fair share of foot stomping, wobbly-chucking and dummy spitting! I’ve realised that these don’t really sort a situation though and, without the luck of a magic wand to wave away frustration and tension, here are some survival tips I’ve learnt that are a little more helpful
Breathe It’s not an old wives’ tale, it’s true! Deep concentrated breathing has a relaxing and calming effect on the body. Focusing on your body, instead of the situation, can help so very much in stressful situations. It’s aslo helpful to be aware of your body’s stress signals (for me its shoulders stiffenng and my teeth clencing) as this can give you a window of time to remove yourself from situation before it potentially gets worse. What stress signs does your body have?
Identify what is actually working in the situation Sometimes when you stop to think about it, there ARE some positives in the situation. See if you can identify them and build upon them in order to work towards a solution. Talking the situation through with a good friend often makes this a little easier!
Consider the very worst case scenario If you consider the very worst scenario imaginable – and prepare accordingly for this – usually the reality of your circumstance is then not so bad. Having a plan in place for a ‘disaster’ can be comforting when dealing with frustration because you often realize you’re actually up against much less.
Change your perspective If you can broaden your focus on the situation it isn’t too hard to change your perspective on the issue – just ask yourself the following: “will this still be a problem for me tomorrow, next week, next year etc????” Frustration is usually easier to deal with once you’ve accepted that a a temporary problem and you know it will pass.
Divert your attention Give the frustrating issue less attention for a while. Take your mind off the problem by going for a walk, looking at the sky, lying on the grass and/or smelling some flowers. Try to relax and take some time away from the situation.
Be outcomes focused If you can, it’s great to focus on what you hope for the outcome of a situation and not the stumbling blocks that there may be on the way. Just remember that you don’t have to win every battle to win the war and that it’s smart to avoid wasting energy in situations (or people) that you can’t change or influence. Visualise a good outcome and focus on what you want this to be, and how you want it to be forthcoming.
Brainstorm multiple solutions Think of as many solutions to the situation as you can. Write them all down. All of them, even the silly ones. Go through your list and (after being comforted by the fact that you can generate some solutions) select and take the best action. Sorry to say that these ideas won’t create a world free of frustration and annoyance for you – wow, what a fantasy, hey! BUT hopefully they’ll give you some practical ways to adjust your thoughts when those situations sent to try you are right royally pissing you off. Like my internet service today, but hey, that’s another post entirely. It takes time to learn these ways of reframing but it is indeed possible to make lemonade from those lemons ….. hey, has anyone seen my magic wand
Playing Friday linkup with 2 fabulous blogs
