We celebrated Momish Day on Saturday with a viewing of the Great Gatsby and truffles from DeBrand. We wrapped up the day with burgers on the grill and some much needed quiet time at home. It was a great day and we loved Baz Luhrman's version of the Great Gatsby. Critics are divided about the over the top effects but almost everyone agrees the acting was superb.
Having not read the book in high school (unfortunately, my English Lit teacher was a bigger fan of Hemingway than Fitzgerald) I made a point to read it before going to see the movie. We also watched the 1974 Robert Redford version. I love Redford but DiCaprio was simply a better and more believable Gatsby. I've already been accused of blasphemy for making that statement but it's simply the truth. The depth DiCaprio brought to Gatsby really allowed me to see the depth he was willing to go to attain the dream he'd been longing to achieve for so many years. This has me thinking about the depths stepmoms go to in order to achieve the perfection we dream of.
In this classic American novel, Jay Gatsby is driven to obtain obscene amounts of wealth to impress the woman he fell in love with 5 years earlier. He hid his less than humble beginnings to create a life she would be attracted to. Then, just like most things we become obsessed with, it all falls apart right as he is obtaining the very thing he'd worked so hard for. For stepmoms, this is so often the case.
The challenge many stepmoms face is trying to create a life for a family that isn't exactly hers. We often see and reach for "the green light" but it always manages to allude us. We've often longed for a family to call our own and have created lives that welcome our new family members. We decorate bedrooms that are only slept in a few days each month, we keep favorite foods in the fridge, attend school functions, and help with homework when asked. Yet, somehow, just when we think we have done everything right something happens to make us feel we can't obtain everything we've hoped for. Maybe it's something someone says or the fact that someone forgot to call but we find ourselves disappointed. Like Gatsby, we don't focus on the disappointment and instead remain eternally hopeful that our efforts will be rewarded.
"It was an extraordinary gift for hope, a romantic readiness such as I have never found in any other person and which it is not likely I shall ever find again," Nick Carraway speaking about Jay Gatsby.
Hope is the stepmom's best friend. Without hope, we simply can't withstand the challenges of our roles. We have a gift for hope, a romantic readiness as Carraway calls it in the novel. We put our hopes and dreams into our families just as any biological parent and then, if our hopes and dreams begin to crumble, we remind ourselves of the romantic notion of family and ready ourselves to continue on. For without our families, our dreams simply don't exist.
This post is part of a weekly series I write at Moms Fort Wayne
