Life Coach Magazine

Is She the One for Me?

By Anjanroy @Anjan5Roy
How do you realize that the person with whom you are at present is the one for your entire life?
Alternatively, to gauge accurately when you see someone for the first time or like somebody for few days or months as, it’s the person who can be your soul mate. My question can be further modified for those who are single viz., how do you go on to find the perfect match for yourself?
To find the answer for these is certainly not any rocket science…but the solution for this would inspire you to relish the basics of life. It can be presumed similar to the basic concepts of Mathematics or physics…you follow the rules and you go on to get what you desire…but there are things you cannot achieve such as 2+2 =5.
As we all know each and every one of us has a different motive of life, and these motives would walk you through to your goals…and finding a match for oneself is certainly not any different.
When you think about your future…what do you think of at first?
Money? Fame ? Status? Love? Career? Relation?
I would pinpoint the relationship of our ambitions with those of our choice of a life partner a bit later…at first do spare a moment and think (I am speaking from a man’s prospective, change it according to your gender) what is more important to you a girl who is rich, or a girl who is intelligent or someone who is beautiful, or may be someone who is very social or a girl who understands you and is compatible?
There are pros and cons of everything and when it comes for life it is more diverse than anything in this world. No path can be qualified as inadequate or wrong. It all depends on the thinking of a particular person…if for someone money is of highest priority he would surely go for a girl who is rich. If career is one’s highest priority he would go for a girl who is intelligent and educated. If fame or status is one’s priority then he would go for a girl who is social and is renowned. On the other hand if love is one’s priority then also there are few things to ponder before you ultimately find your life partner.
. In one of my earlier blog Love marriage & arranged marriage…!!!
I have concentrated on how one should decide amongst love or arranged marriage together with the pros and cons of both…so as per my philosophies Love cum arranged marriage is the one which is more suited for any particular person in general. And I would take it as a prerequisite for my next discussion.
This question is for all whether you are single or engaged…what are the qualities that you like the most when you think of a girl as your partner for life?
What is it that you would look as a mandate while choosing your partner for life? Even if you fell in love at the first sight or got engaged after few meetings what is it that you liked the most in your opposite sex?
How often have you heard about the stories that everything was fine till the day a couple were lovers and everything changed when they got married. Or the people who willingly got married are not at all happy with their love life? am about to disclose the mantras for life and am cent percent sure if all the people abide by these principles the divorce rates would surely fall and everybody would be happy in their married life also.
As I stated earlier there’s a rule for life and while choosing a life partner, the rule is to know the qualities which would last and which won’t. You need to appreciate and to instigate the qualities which are a must when you transform from lovers to Husband & Wife.
Lets first visualize the major problem we see amongst the modern youth today…everyone has a boyfriend/girlfriend…if you ask them, how serious are they about their future the answer with majority of them would be not sure. They are couples not because they really want to be a life partner but because today it’s like a status symbol and the one who doesn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend feels inferior or doomed. To spend one’s life with someone is certainly not a status symbol so guys please take this notion out of your mind that you have reached college or is a graduate and you have to have a partner. If your motive is your entire life then it’s a completely different situation then.
Now coming to all those who are engaged or are planning to engage themselves because one loves someone for her beauty. Love at first sight also comes to this category…my question to all those people is: how would you defend yourself when the person whom you love finds someone who is more handsome then you? Or won’t you turn your path when you meet someone who is more beautiful than the person you are dating at present? Believe me or not but it’s true, relationship based on looks seldom survives…beauty is only a skin deep…if you don’t find any other reason for loving the person you are with at present…you relation is bound to break in very near future.
Another important aspect is Richness…there are many people who believe money can solve all their problems including their love life so it’s better to find someone who is rich as it would ensure future stability financially and they could enjoy all the luxuries…this is another wrong notion that people generally have…yes with money you will have a quality of life which you would have dreamt but to spend your entire life with someone primarily for money will make you think one day…”Money can buy everything but not Love.” You are not a commodity which can be weighted alongside anybody’s wealth so guys do think before you take any step while choosing someone for his/her money as with time the only person to blame would be you yourself and at that time you won’t be able to turn time clock back to your past even if you have billions.
Another aspect that comes next is intelligence, nature, behavior, character and all those stuff that you associate a person with...again these are all necessary but not heart and soul of a relation to last...still one major thing is missing…you can marry someone who is very intelligent, has pleasant nature, good behavior, sound character but then to live your entire life with a person you need something more than these things…
By now you might all be wondering what is it? You may also come to a conclusion that it’s genuine love between the individuals which is a must… but the answer is no it’s not love. Yes it’s more important than anything that I stated above but the most important factor is the understanding between the two people. How compatible are you among yourself…how easily can you rectify others mistakes and guide them to overcome their weakness/failures. How do you handle adverse situations such as disputes or misunderstandings… In (married)life you will face many ups and down and so be better prepared for those mishaps…so that when you do need to walk on the edge of swords your spouse and you are footed on the same boat…so that time couldn’t split you up…so my sincere advise to all the people would be choose someone who loves you for what you are and is compatible with you as such whose love doesn’t change with change in time.
There are many things in life and about a person which changes over time but I stated only time as it alone signifies all other changes…
Life is not a piece of cake where you open your refrigerator, take a munch and eat it whenever you want…it’s about how you utilize this cake in your life so that you can make use of this cake in the most efficient way so as to bring utmost satisfaction and then you don’t have to rue over it once it’s over

Life’s journey is a long journey but when you spend it with your caring and loving beloved the entire journey would seem to you as if it passed in a fraction of second. A love which is understanding, caring, loving and compatible will last even if our decisions doesn't…as with time you can change your decisions but not your feelings.

Talking about decisions…do think about the answer of this question long and hard before you come up to any conclusion… Is she the one for me?

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