Communicate during Conflict – SPINE
Humans communicate within themselves and with others for two vital reasons; 1) To persuade and to get persuaded 2) To lead themselves and others. Intrapersonal and interpersonal skills are the two most important human relations skills. SPINE, is a simple mnemonic device that helps to recall the conflict resolution strategy by using verbal communication skills as a vital tool to resolve conflict with self and others.Resolving interpersonal conflict using SPINE acronym that stands for:-
Silence
Passives
Intermission
Negative statements
Emotion
One of the ways to resolve conflicts is to use right words, phrases and statements at the right time.
Four Basic Types of Conflicts
In literature, conflicts are summarized into four basic types.
Man vs man (Interpersonal Conflict)
Man vs himself/herself (Intrapersonal conflict)
Man vs society, and
Man vs nature.
When used appropriately, SPINE mnemonic, an effective conflict resolution idea, it can be applied for almost all types of disputes to retain or rebuild the human relationship--both at work and at home.
Individual Conflict? Silence is the Word
Besides verbal communication skills such as transition statements and rapport building phrases, another element of intrapersonal skills is silence, an excellent communication strategy, especially during individual conflicts, that resolves the disputes in no time. When one person becomes silent, it gives an opportunity for the other person to talk and express his/her feelings, thoughts, emotions and opinions. Many conflict resolvers use this simple yet valuable tool, during the process of conflict, at the beginning, middle or towards the end of conflicting situations. Being silent is also one of the top conflict avoidance strategies followed by successful managers, and supervisors during team conflicts.Use Passives, Erase "I and you Statements"--during Interpersonal Conflicts
To eliminate interpersonal conflicts one must take conscious efforts to balance the emotions, feeling and thoughts besides having balanced self esteem and positive attitude. One of the reasons of using the passive language is to eliminate the human interferences from the issue. Passive language depersonalizes and focuses on the issue rather than on the person.Here is a business conflict example where a manager uses "I and You statements" during a challenging business situation, for which a team member gives a personalized response:
Manager: Why didn't you send the business report yesterday? (You statement)
Colleague: It was not my mistake. There was a problem in the network server yesterday. (I statement)
One of the causes of the conflict is personalizing the issue. The words and phrases can be re-framed to avoid this conflict situation:
Manager: May I know why the business report was not sent yesterday? (Passive statement)
Colleague: There was a problem in the network server yesterday. Emails didn't work until 6pm.(passive statement)
Many business firms believe that good communication skills at all levels--from a manager to a team member--can condense most organizational and industrial conflicts.
