Dating Magazine

Interracial Dating: What Really Matters

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie
Interracial Dating: What Really Matters

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This post has been in me for awhile and it seems as though every time I start to put my thoughts on paper about this subject, I end up writing about something else. Nonetheless, I’m determined to write tonight.

Years ago when I was a child, I remember seeing interracial couples and watching people mumble under their breath, roll their eyes, and stare like someone had the bubonic plaque. This had to be about 25 years ago; a time when modern popular culture had yet to accept that you could actually love someone of a different race. I remember reading a post online a few years ago in which a black guy claimed that black women didn’t find him attractive but as soon as he started dating a white woman they had so much to say about matter. Seeing as that I’m a black woman, I can wholeheartedly say that it has never bothered me seeing a black man or woman with someone of a different race. Mainly because I don’t limit myself to just my race and I never will. The problem that I do have with interracial dating is when people date other races for the wrong reasons.

Dating other races because you find something wrong with your own race

I’m going to put this as delicately as possible. When you constantly find fault with men of your own race, have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’re the one with the problem? When you constantly attract men who are no good, you have to look within yourself to find out what it is about you that attracts these men. The pattern doesn’t change because you decide to date another race.

Expectations that things will be better because they’re a different race

I can only speak for women here but asshole is a universal term. For some reason women think men of other races don’t have the asshole complex. Expectation often leads to disappointment and last I checked EVERYONE is capable of being an asshole. It is not a trait that skips certain race.

Because your friend dates someone of a different race or you want to experiment

This is not monkey see monkey do! Just because your friend decided to explore options beyond their race doesn’t mean you should too. Everyone’s experience is different; just because your friend found love with another race doesn’t mean you will. People are not science projects. Although there are a few stereotypes that exist, we shouldn’t date others to find out if a stereotype is true.

The first time I dated someone of a different race, I didn’t wake up one morning and say black men suck. I didn’t have any expectations that I would be treated any differently, nor did I have any friends who dated other races. I was simply walking down the street and met a guy, we exchanged numbers and dated. When we date anyone, we should date based off mutual attraction; not because we feel like one race is better than the other.

In a world where finding true love seems to be rarity, I stand firmly on the belief that you love who you love. If someone has you running down the street humming your favorite love song, I say to hell with what anyone else thinks. We spend too much time worrying what others think and keeping shit up for appearance sake. In the end, all that really matters are how you feel and how that person makes you feel.

Have a wonderful weekend!

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