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Without you on my side, how can I make it? What do I do when those I love have given up? They are the ones whom I draw my strength on. My burden in on overload. I draw too much. I am breaking them down as they struggle to hold me up. Over four years back and forth the war rages. Exhausting us all. We have traveled the stages – skipping 1, hitting two, leaped over 3, dead-stop #4.
please don’t give up on me.
4 is the final stop. The new number for bad luck. A miracle can save, treatment extends life.
please don’t give up on me.
I see hope slipping away from family and friends. No longer able to hide behind the mask. I see the color drain from their faces, even when my eyes close. It grows more difficult to hold onto the positive. When many around me are shattered, my diagnosis such a blow. I am truly placing my body into healing hands, words, thoughts ointments and prayers. When I feel pulled down and depressed I look for a reason to lift myself out.
please don’t give up on me.
I look toward my faith, my spirituality, my soul. I am reaching within my essence, the core of my being. I meet myself for the first time. My reflection shines in my inner pool. The pool is infected, but I am still there. I find life and happiness. Memories, some good – some bad. I see a good loving life. A good heart. Full of love. Grace, sensitivity and life.
Please don’t give up on me.
I am saddened for causing such grief to others. This hurts as much as my outward pain. Pain both inside and out. The physical and emotional.
Please don’t give up on me
I reach inside my pool of life. I form words while I destroy cells. Pop,pop, pop like packaging bubbles. Busting bad cells finding myself, my being, my words. God I pray my words bring strength back into all of those eyes which are upon me.
Please don’t give up on me
I hold onto happiness, onto my inner self tight. I clasp the hands of God. I will be saved, I will survive. Whether my feet will continue to walk this path, or whether they crossover into a land I’ve only imagined, I will be OK. I will find happiness again. I will be awaiting for you. I will unite with those waiting for me.
Please don’t give up on me.
