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If A Lumberjack Disappears In A Forest For 102 Years, And Nobody Is There To See Him…

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Earlier this week, we wrote that Swedish taxation authorities reportedly took 102 years to declare a missing lumberjack to be dead.

3 Philosophical Questions That Arise From This News Story

1. If a lumberjack disappears in a forest, and nobody is there to see him, is it really that surprising they can’t see him, since he “disappeared.”

2. If a lumberjack disappears in a forest, is he really a magician? What if he makes a bunch of trees fall silently with his magic, but has no audience to hear them fall because everybody is watching the Celebrity Apprentice on TV? How does that impact his magic and the entire field of philosophy?

3. If a magician disappears in a forest, is that magician Penn Teller, and does this mean he is going to lose on tonight’s season finale of the Celebrity Apprentice? And did he lose because country singer Trace Adkins fairly bested him, or because show host Donald Trump is hoping for more country voters in case he ever runs for election, and less Las Vegas magic voters? (Because getting those votes might require magic when Trump branded casinos dominate Atlantic City, not Vegas! Oh, and also Donald Trump has probably weakened his popularity in often Democratic Nevada with rants about college transcripts and birth certificates.)


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