Eddi van W.
After reading the blog post I Regret Not Having An Abortion I found it difficult, it had brought back many hurtful memories for me as I was put in care and my mom abandoned me. I wanted to share my own experience, I guess from the child’s point of view.
The mother who wrote the post clearly is hurting and angry at her daughter, yet I am the daughter of a mother who doesn’t want her. There are always two sides to every story.
I was very young when I was put in care.
The social worker made arrangements to meet in a contact center but my mom never turned up.
I used to sit in my bed room window wishing mom would come and pick me up but she never did.
I never had a call, a card or a letter.
I was put in care for some reason, but why did she abandon me? Even years later when the social workers tried to get us to reunite, why did she never turn up?
It killed me inside to know my mom didn’t want me.
What did I do wrong?
Was it my fault?
When I was 23 I decided to track my mom. I wasn’t in care and wanted to know why? I found an address and decided to go and see her.
I pulled up outside a big block of flats. I rang the bell, but there was no answer. Someone was going into the flats, so they let me in. I went and knocked on number 1 and my mom answered. I knew it was her straight away.
She seemed happy to see me, let me in, showed me round her flat and even offered me a can of pop.
There was no emotion
I asked her why I was put in care and what had happened; she said she couldn’t cope with all 4 of us.
In the hour I was with my mom I realised I wanted my mom to be a part of my life. I left with 2 numbers to contact my mom on.
When I got back home I happily saved them in my phone.
I tried to call the next day but it was like the numbers were blocked. The numbers would not ring.
I had messages from family the next day saying my mom wanted nothing to do with me or my younger siblings.
I was so upset
I wanted my mum
I kept trying the phone numbers but nothing.
My brother got in touch about a year later (me and my brother don’t get on). He told me my mom wants nothing to do with me, my sister or little brother and only wanted to see him.
I was so shocked, she was meant to be our mother.
I was threatened to stay away and not to contact her ever again, so I kept away.
I have since been told over the past couple of months that she is really ill, she has been having heart attacks and the family have said I should visit her.
At the moment I don’t know if she is still alive as nobody talks to me.
What hurts the most is why my mother will have nothing to do with me, I can’t understand why.
How can a mother just turn her back on her own daughter?
This inspirational post was written anonymously and submitted to the blog. I have full permission to share this story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.
