I was 21 when the relationship with my partner of 18 months ended, I started going out more again and getting drunk every weekend and enjoying my self. I would set myself up to get some attention from men. I would set my eyes on one or two when I got to the club and would be randomly kissing 2 or 3 before getting the one I wanted .
I would end up have sex with them by the end of the night, then go home and enjoy more sex, I remember one night going home with two men, looking back they could of killed me, I had no idea who they were, they could have been anyone. That’s when I started to meet guys on-line and I started losing some of my friends because of this.
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I just though they were jealous, but they were just trying to look out for me. They were frightened for me but I felt in full control. The truth was I was addicted to having sex with strangers.
I woke one morning after the night before and I had no money, no clothes and didn’t even know my way home. I was frightened and this was the time I actually felt ashamed about what I was doing. I was also drinking far too much.
I was left in a stinky, rotten flat alone. Luckily my friend rang me, I had my phone thankfully and she came to get me with fresh clothes and took me home.
My mom was besides herself, removed the phone from me and threw it away and told me I could get a new one once I got help.
I started to get my life back on track, had been off the drink, but that had made me moody and I would lash out at everyone. I was admitted to rehab to help me. I saw a shirk every day and talked over how I felt. She advised me to write letters to the people I had hurt and upset.
I set about doing this and sent one to my mum, her letter was the hardest one to write. I didn’t know where to start. I simply said the past is the past, I need you for the future and your the best mom ever. Her reply was what I needed.. YOU CAN DO THIS.
I did finish the program, I even gained 10lb and started a college course and met someone new. My mom liked him but we broke up and in January 2010, I found out I was pregnant. I was heartbroken.
Not because I didn’t want the baby but I had no one to help me, I dint want to do this alone. My mom was with me that day and she turned to me and said YOU can do this. I just looked at her and she smiled and said lets go see who’s been hiding in there for the last 26 weeks. I cried again.
I went on to have a son who has development problems but he is perfect and I couldn’t ask for a better son. I am now happy has I have ever been and have a perfect man, but don’t tell him that and we are planning to get married and have more children.
This post is an anonymous guest post*
