I have lost my mother forever, who is alive. I have found some answers why my mother is the way she is, but there is so much I do not know yet. I will find out before my Autobiography is published.
My parents have taken me out of their Will so many times I lost count. The thing is I never wanted their money.
I wanted the one thing they cannot give that being unconditional love.
I tried so hard to give my daughter everything including unconditional love, but the somehow the cycle was stronger.
My mother took clothes off my 11 month old daughter’s back to spite me. When I left my daughter’s abusive father, I moved home from AZ to PA.
I only had summer clothes for her. It was now October in PA and cold. My sister-in-law had two older daughters, so she gave me a huge box with everything to cloth her up until she was 3.
He followed me back home. He said he would change pleading for us to be a family again. Yeah, right! Just like my daughter, I wanted the family unit, so I went back to him. It only lasted a few months before I kicked him out. Before going back to him, my daughter and I were living with my parents.
One night I was going to a Halloween party. My mother asked if he was going to be there. I told the truth saying yes. She and my father told me to pack my kid up and get out of her house. I said no problem I’ll take MY KID.
I went to my mother-in-laws. A few days later my mother called up telling her to inform me if I didn’t have those clothes out on the sidewalk within the hour my sister-in-law was going to press charges on me. Being only 22 I had no clue about the law, so I gave them back scared I was going to be arrested.
Within an hour the brothers(as a young child one beat me and the other wanted to have sex with me) came to pick up the box dropping off all my belongings on the sidewalk for all the neighbors to see making me feel like dirt.
I just started a job, so I was broke. It was a good thing I had a credit card taking my daughter shopping having the time of our lives buying her the best of the best. Then my mother-in-law told me she was charging me $50 a week to live with her and I had to buy our own food.
My daughter’s father was a cross-county truck driver only because I put allowed him to quit his job supporting him as he went through the schooling all while I was pregnant, working, and going to Dental Technology Schooling. I feel she should have charged her son, who was making tons more than me. He also did not offer to help with paying his mother rent for his wife and child neither. What a fool I was!
So years go by and I said to my sister-in-law one day, “How about you taking the clothes you gave me off your own niece’s back!” Confused she asked, “What are you talking about?” I said, “You know when you gave me that box of clothes when I came home from AZ, you were going to have me arrested if I didn’t return them.” She said, “I never did that. I came home one day to find the box on my porch.
I called your mother and she told me you returned them to her saying she came home to them on her porch.” I said, “So you mean my mother took clothes off her own granddaughter’s back to spite me?” She said, “She sure did because I gave those clothes to you never wanting them back. She’s a dirty rotten bitch!” One thing I just thought of.
We never put it together her husband (my predator)knew the entire time as he picked up the box of clothes, but he never told his wife.
Oh, it got worse. After my mother took those clothes from my baby and lying about everything, one night my almost one year old daughter woke up all of a sudden with a scary barking cough. I had no idea what was going on. My mother-in-law, who had 9 children, said she has the croup.
She told me to run a hot shower taking her in the bathroom shutting the door. That only made it worse. She told me to take her outside to see if the cold air would make it better. It didn’t.
My daughter ended up being admitted to the hospital for four days in an oxygen tent. I stayed with her at night, but had to work during the day to get us out of my mother-in-law’s home. It killed me to leave her, but the nurses promised me they would not leave her alone.
Every day I bought her a new gift buying them with that credit card. I was a wreck driving an hour to and from work feeling like a horrible mother leaving my baby is an oxygen tent, but I had to do what I had to do for us.
One day my mother came to my daughter hospital room. At that time, she intimidated me. If what I am about to tell you would happen now, she would need an oxygen tent also. She came in with a smirk on her face telling me, “You are disowned for going back to that asshole and you have already been taking out of the Will.” I said nothing. Then she went over to my baby only saying hi to her walking out of the room.
She never asked me if she was going to be okay or anything. She just came into my daughter’s hospital room while she was in an oxygen tent to tell me I was taken out of the Will.
If that was any of her other 3 granddaughters she only had at that time, she would have showered them in gifts and played the phony grandmother act like she cared. To this day it burns me up I did not stand up for my daughter slamming that bitch.
When my daughter was released from the hospital, I saved enough money shortly thereafter for us to move into an apartment near my job.
At least twice a year until she was five years old she was in the ER with the Croup. I thank God she finally grew out of it. One hospital told me if she turned blue to bring her back. I begged them to admit her, but they wouldn’t.
So my husband came to live with us, but did not stop doing heroin. He started spousal raping me. He would hold my daughter up saying, “Say goodbye to mommy as you’re never gonna see her again!” He would then disappear with her leaving both of us in tears. One day he took us for a ride kicking me out of the vehicle leaving me in the middle of nowhere.
As he drove off, my baby was crying for me with her tiny hands held out to me screaming, “Mommy”. He came back some time later. I got into the vehicle making him hit me telling him, “Thank you!”
When we got back to the apartment, I waited for him to go asleep but he guarded the only door. Every time I went by it, he woke up. I already had our bags packed. I then opened the bedroom window throwing the bags out putting them in my vehicle. I then called to my baby telling her to come to mommy.
I pulled her out the window running like a bat out of hell with her in my arms. I then went to the police pressing charges on him for hitting me. They threw him in jail. When he was out of the apartment, I went back to find he sliced my leather coat, the shower curtain(psycho), and other things.
On top of the TV, I found his heroin supplies including a Big Bird spoon he was using to shot his heroin. I thought, “What kind of a father uses a baby spoon to do that?” It wasn’t my child’s, which would have made things worse but still who does this?
He did a week in jail and I was out of the apartment within that time living with my high school friend, who lived close.
It didn’t take me long to get out of there because her boyfriend was jealous calling us lesbians and other names mostly bad-mouthing me. I took the phone from her telling him if I ever seen him I was going to rip his head off.
Prior to me reconciling with my husband, my sister ended up pregnant from a man that was not her husband’s. My mother told her to go back to her husband pretending he was the father as he was a good provider and not a bum drug addict like the real father.
My sister listened even though I flipped saying, “You cannot lie to that man like that. It’s wrong.” My mother told me to shut my mouth it was her husband’s baby. I said, “No. it isn’t and we all know it. She hasn’t been with him in over 6 weeks and she is only 4 weeks pregnant!” I know…this is some Jerry Springer or Maury shit, but who was she to talk.
My father was an woman beating womanizing psycho alcoholic, who traumatized us always after 2am after drinking with his mistress of 16 years turning our quiet sleeping home into complete chaos with our mother taking us out of our beds or from underneath it taking us to my Granny’s home in all kinds of weather in our pj’s.
She is still with him being unhappy as he continues to ruin all her holidays as he did to us growing up. Good for her.
She disowned me because I went back to my husband, but she did not disown my sister for getting pregnant by another man other than her husband. Now who has their morals wrong here?
I really think she is jealous because I left my 6 abusers not caring about money or anything, but my child’s well-being always supporting us on my own as she never did. My daughter’s father still owes me $15K and she is 26. Someone told me to reopen the case because I am owed that money.
A judge closed it saying they could not find him. I bet if I was that judge’s daughter they would found him. I called when I received that letter in 2006 telling them they know he is on VA disability getting his check direct deposit, so they could find out where he was from the VA.
They told me that is not their job. I said, “Well, the VA is not going to give me his personal information as they would you.” It took me a few minutes to find him under the white pages on the internet, but my daughter told me to let it go so I did. Just a few weeks ago I went into the court house to refile for that $15K.
They told me I had to pay a fee. I asked, “For what!” They said for processing fees. I took the paperwork telling the girl I had to think about it. At first, I wanted to file just to get him in a room telling him everything I thought about him as he is now suffering from throat cancer for 7 years as I remember his hands around my throat throwing me on the bed spousal raping me while our baby slept in the same room.
I love KARMA! Then I thought, “As soon as I pay that fee the SOB would probably drop over dead before the hearing”, so I decided not to. I also was afraid I would grab him by the throat asking him how it felt ending in jail ruining my grandparent rights. Trust me you cannot lock a person up with PTSD. They did once and I thought about throwing myself off the tier.
One day I came out of my new job at a huge insurance company. He was sitting in my car. He told me if I did not get into the vehicle, he was going to make a big scene. I did not want that, so I got in. He made me drive to the babysitter picking up my daughter threatening to slice me up if I went in calling the police.
I was terrified, so I did what he told me. I have no idea what I was thinking as I should have called the police. I was worried about him coming back and also taking my vehicle ruining it making it impossible for me to support my child as he didn’t give me a dime. All everyone has ever done was take and take from me and abuse me.
The babysitter knew something was wrong, but I told her everything was okay. When I got into the vehicle, I thought I always see a police officer driving around I will just flag him down. That day they must have all been at the donut shop as I did not see any. He was slapping me as I begged him to not subject our child to abuse, but he did not care she was in her car seat crying at the top of her lungs.
He made me drive him an hour to his mothers. At one point, he grabbed my glasses throwing them out the window. He went into his mother’s giving the baby to her.
I sat on the corner begging for him to give my baby back to me. He was smacking me and pushing me around. These two girls I knew were watching everything. I looked at them begging them to call the police, but they never did. They just watched me getting beat up by a “man” begging for him to stop and give my baby back.
The one was married to my mother’s best friend’s son, so that is why they did nothing because I am sure my mother lied telling them I deserve everything I got. If they only knew the true her as I did.
Last year I walked into a store seeing the one sister working there. I was waiting for her to come up to me asking me if she could help me, but she knew better once she seen my face. I could see the lump in her throat. At this store they always come up to the customer asking if they could help you, so she was not doing her job.
If she came up to me asking me if I needed help I was all ready to say, “No, bitch! Both my daughter and I needed your help over 25 years ago as I was being abused, but you just watched with your sister doing nothing. I hope one day you know how that felt!” Trust me I will get the opportunity to say it one day. I might just go up to her asking her for help. Then I will tell her this telling her to tell her sister the same.
So he kept stealing my vehicle when I visited friends. I even took of the distributor wire off, but he found one taking my vehicle I supported our child with. He said to me, “Why should I give you money. You might pay rent with it.” I replied, “Would you rather your daughter live in a cardboard box?” He said, “Your boyfriend is living with you, so let him support her.” I replied, “It’s not his job to financially take care of your daughter.”
When you think about it, if he was a good boyfriend he would. No, what does he tell me after 5 years of being with him? After a night out and my daughter thankfully at a sleep over he says, “I finally love your daughter.” My head spun around like the girl in the Exorcist. I yelled, “I didn’t think it was that hard to love an innocent child.You should have loved her since day one.” Then I picked up a bench throwing at him as he laid in bed with his arms behind his head like he was telling me something I should be grateful for.
I knocked the wind out of him hitting him in the chest. Then I jumped on the bed beating the crap out of him. I head butted him. I spit in his face.
I Should Have Fought Back Sooner
I did everything everyone including him has done to me. He finally got me pinned down on the bed. I was still fighting. He told me to stop, but I wouldn’t. I was enraged because he was proud it took him 5 years to finally love my daughter. We ended up on the floor fist fighting. His mother always told him I was going to be his match and she was right.
When I finally got rid of him, he had a Sheriff serve me on Valentine’s Day suing me for my engagement ring, a vanity he gave my daughter for Christmas buying it from his brother, and 2 other items. He even drove us up to my friend’s home giving her old one to their daughters. He won because his mother had political pull. I did not want his ring anyway. I bought my daughter a better vanity.
It is really sad, but it took for me to make these “men” hate me to get rid of them. I waited for the husband to come back one night after stealing my car. I beat him up in the middle of the street. My friend had to pull me off him as we ended up on the sidewalk. I then spit on him say, “I just kicked your ass after you had me so scared of you all those years.”
The next day I obtained a PFA on him throwing him in jail again.
This time it worked he finally left us alone. I should have fought back sooner.
I also had to get a PFA on the one who took back his engagement ring as he was stalking my daughter and I. As a result, he hated me for it because he almost lost his job as a prison guard. He married around the same time I did for the second time. He held her hostage in their basement until she gave her cell phone to him.
As a result, she obtained a PFA on him, which he violated twice. He was found not guilty getting everything dropped. Our judicial system sucks!
Through a mutual friend I found out on New Year’s Eve 2010, he said he was so obsessed with me he had to get away from me he was going to kill me then kill himself. At that time 17 years ago, I knew it so I purchased a gun. My father knew it too suggesting the gun also.
What a life, I am surely lucky to be alive. I must continue to move forward not tolerating abuse ending the cycle with my granddaughters. I will succeed. There is no other option.
This inspirational post was written anonymously. I have full permission to share the story and it is true to the best of my knowledge. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous story please Contact Me.
